Friday, December 27, 2002
so yeah... christmas season has come and gone, what the hell! its almost a new year, jesus. insanity peppers
but yeah, christmas for me means church with the parents. i'd like to think i've begun to care more about shit in the past little while. i mean, like, admitting that i have opinions on certain things. there are somethings i really don't care about, like the things that most people care about but still. church was particularly hard for me this year. i don't know why. i wish i hadn't gone. it just pisses me off so much you know? i can pretty much say that i'm an atheist fully again, if god has anything to do with church. it was just painful and i can't really explain it...... one funny moment did come out of it though. i had a pastor tell me i looked like jesus. i mean, how often do you get that.
my feet made out like bandits this christmas. i got 10 pairs of socks and some new shoes, big pimpin. everyone else seems to have had a huge christmas, where their parents just went overboard. i had a pretty normal christmas. i hate to sound disappointed, but..... i'm just jealous of my friends families, because they spend more money and expect less in return i guess. it is a silly thing to be jealous about. i feel like i'm 8 years old all over again. but hey, i'll get over it in t-minus 5. 4. 3. 2....
so yeah, internet is back up, this is a good thing.
hungover bloops
but yeah, christmas for me means church with the parents. i'd like to think i've begun to care more about shit in the past little while. i mean, like, admitting that i have opinions on certain things. there are somethings i really don't care about, like the things that most people care about but still. church was particularly hard for me this year. i don't know why. i wish i hadn't gone. it just pisses me off so much you know? i can pretty much say that i'm an atheist fully again, if god has anything to do with church. it was just painful and i can't really explain it...... one funny moment did come out of it though. i had a pastor tell me i looked like jesus. i mean, how often do you get that.
my feet made out like bandits this christmas. i got 10 pairs of socks and some new shoes, big pimpin. everyone else seems to have had a huge christmas, where their parents just went overboard. i had a pretty normal christmas. i hate to sound disappointed, but..... i'm just jealous of my friends families, because they spend more money and expect less in return i guess. it is a silly thing to be jealous about. i feel like i'm 8 years old all over again. but hey, i'll get over it in t-minus 5. 4. 3. 2....
so yeah, internet is back up, this is a good thing.
hungover bloops
blooped in my bloop?!?!?!?!?!
omg, thats going even farther than my damn soup, what the hell is going on!!!!!
omg, thats going even farther than my damn soup, what the hell is going on!!!!!
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
INTERNET BACK WOOT FUCK WAH!!!!!!!
i have other things to attend tooooooo
i wrote some blogs down in a text file while internet was down because i needed too... so yeah, peace and merry wankmas
i have other things to attend tooooooo
i wrote some blogs down in a text file while internet was down because i needed too... so yeah, peace and merry wankmas
12/23 - 3:51 PM
I just forced myself to sleep for 6 hours longer than my body originially wanted me too. its amazing the physical patterns we can get ourselves into, like the way my body thinks that it only needs 5 hours or so of sleep now. i hate that.
no internet....... i can last a few days with no internet, but this is getting rediculous. i'm about to drive to work so i can use it there. how sick and twisted is that. fuck you AT&T. why does this happen. how does this happen. how does a situation like this come about? how is it acceptable behavior to just shut off someones internet and cable for a week without warning, and while they are still paying for it. wouldn't they catch a problem like this? how can they be THIS retarded. how do these people stay in business. fucking broadband monopoly. oh wait, but we have choices, we don't have to stay with cable. we could spend a month and a half playing phone tag with some DSL jackass while they sit on our work ticket picking their asses. then they finally come out, and it goes down 2 days later, and they ignore us for even longer. because, as bad as cable is, DSL is worse.
I just forced myself to sleep for 6 hours longer than my body originially wanted me too. its amazing the physical patterns we can get ourselves into, like the way my body thinks that it only needs 5 hours or so of sleep now. i hate that.
no internet....... i can last a few days with no internet, but this is getting rediculous. i'm about to drive to work so i can use it there. how sick and twisted is that. fuck you AT&T. why does this happen. how does this happen. how does a situation like this come about? how is it acceptable behavior to just shut off someones internet and cable for a week without warning, and while they are still paying for it. wouldn't they catch a problem like this? how can they be THIS retarded. how do these people stay in business. fucking broadband monopoly. oh wait, but we have choices, we don't have to stay with cable. we could spend a month and a half playing phone tag with some DSL jackass while they sit on our work ticket picking their asses. then they finally come out, and it goes down 2 days later, and they ignore us for even longer. because, as bad as cable is, DSL is worse.
12/21 - 10:12 PM
snloopdy
so yes, chillin, still no internet. been playing a lot of sim city 3000, my sims need me. i am a father figure to them, being overlord and all. without me, they would really be in trouble. monsters and fires and such would run rampant. but i am there to protect them, my pooooor little sims. sneep sneep snoop!
snloopdy
so yes, chillin, still no internet. been playing a lot of sim city 3000, my sims need me. i am a father figure to them, being overlord and all. without me, they would really be in trouble. monsters and fires and such would run rampant. but i am there to protect them, my pooooor little sims. sneep sneep snoop!
12/20 - 3:35 PM
Wonder of all wonders..... my new boss said i could go home early today, and still have a full day! i was so confused when she told me, i just couldn't comprehend what she was saying. so yeah, i'm happy, because i'm home already :D
what else happened today... nothing of note. internet is still down. its been like 4 days or something, its pretty funny. my email inbox is going to be crazy. i don't look forward too it.
kudos to matt for pagliaccis...
blah, my head is still behind from lord of the rings on tuesday. great movie by the way, i liked it more than the first one. i really liked the directors cut of the first one, just because it was so cool, so i can't wait for the directors cut of the second one. anyways, i'm not even going to say anything so i don't spoil it. oh yeah, people are wierd, and yell during movies. i've been to openings before and this has happened, but i have never been really, REALLY stoned on an opening night before. my poor little mind couldn't make sense of it. i responded by belligerently yelling back. it was classicly bitter and angsty.
Wonder of all wonders..... my new boss said i could go home early today, and still have a full day! i was so confused when she told me, i just couldn't comprehend what she was saying. so yeah, i'm happy, because i'm home already :D
what else happened today... nothing of note. internet is still down. its been like 4 days or something, its pretty funny. my email inbox is going to be crazy. i don't look forward too it.
kudos to matt for pagliaccis...
blah, my head is still behind from lord of the rings on tuesday. great movie by the way, i liked it more than the first one. i really liked the directors cut of the first one, just because it was so cool, so i can't wait for the directors cut of the second one. anyways, i'm not even going to say anything so i don't spoil it. oh yeah, people are wierd, and yell during movies. i've been to openings before and this has happened, but i have never been really, REALLY stoned on an opening night before. my poor little mind couldn't make sense of it. i responded by belligerently yelling back. it was classicly bitter and angsty.
12/19 - 1:00 PM
blog blog blog....
so my internet has been out, and i don't know why. its a little annoying, but really, it doesn't matter. i used to think that i wouldn't be able to live without internet, but i can now. the only thing that is really bothering me is the fact that i had things i was supposed to do for people in dark age of camelot that i can't do, so they are going to be pissed at me. sorry guys....
i saw a dog get hit by a car today. it was this huge pitbull thing. so yeah, it gets hit, and it doesn't even fall over. its back end just kind of swings around. it wasn't mad or scared or anything really, it just kind of stopped and looked at the car like, what the hell man, then kept going across the street, where another car screeches to a halt, almost hitting it. it was just like, whatever. it owned traffic. it got fucking hit by a car, and it still doesn't fear them. it seemed to be ok, because it just ran off. later, i saw its owner walking it. i was like yeah!!! pimpin! the owner stopped right at the driveway i was standing in so the other dog could take a piss. the dog that got hit just stood there staring at me. it was kind of creepy, i think i was talking to me. it was like, i owned that car, just think of what i could do to your dumb ass.
anyways, you guys won't see this for a while anyways, so peace.
blog blog blog....
so my internet has been out, and i don't know why. its a little annoying, but really, it doesn't matter. i used to think that i wouldn't be able to live without internet, but i can now. the only thing that is really bothering me is the fact that i had things i was supposed to do for people in dark age of camelot that i can't do, so they are going to be pissed at me. sorry guys....
i saw a dog get hit by a car today. it was this huge pitbull thing. so yeah, it gets hit, and it doesn't even fall over. its back end just kind of swings around. it wasn't mad or scared or anything really, it just kind of stopped and looked at the car like, what the hell man, then kept going across the street, where another car screeches to a halt, almost hitting it. it was just like, whatever. it owned traffic. it got fucking hit by a car, and it still doesn't fear them. it seemed to be ok, because it just ran off. later, i saw its owner walking it. i was like yeah!!! pimpin! the owner stopped right at the driveway i was standing in so the other dog could take a piss. the dog that got hit just stood there staring at me. it was kind of creepy, i think i was talking to me. it was like, i owned that car, just think of what i could do to your dumb ass.
anyways, you guys won't see this for a while anyways, so peace.
Sunday, December 15, 2002
oh shibbly waaaaah
i am an arrogant buffoon, aren't i.
think about it, talking is a very arrogant thing to do. when you say something out loud, you run the risk of people overhearing. and not being them, you never know what they are going to say think or do. kind of a strange thought, that other people are as out of control as you are.
i can say, that i find humor in a lot of things. i think this is great. there are simple things i take pleasure in, like hockey. hockey is a release. hockey has always been there for me. hockey is perhaps my oldest friend. i can remember the first time i played it, way back in the day. fuck, i think it was even erics copy i played. i think eventually he lost his super nintendo and gave it to me, like when i had a playstation. and at that point, what were we still playing, hockey. i am great at that game, it is something i can say i do well.
i am an arrogant buffoon, aren't i.
think about it, talking is a very arrogant thing to do. when you say something out loud, you run the risk of people overhearing. and not being them, you never know what they are going to say think or do. kind of a strange thought, that other people are as out of control as you are.
i can say, that i find humor in a lot of things. i think this is great. there are simple things i take pleasure in, like hockey. hockey is a release. hockey has always been there for me. hockey is perhaps my oldest friend. i can remember the first time i played it, way back in the day. fuck, i think it was even erics copy i played. i think eventually he lost his super nintendo and gave it to me, like when i had a playstation. and at that point, what were we still playing, hockey. i am great at that game, it is something i can say i do well.
Saturday, December 14, 2002
yes yes, i know there are some times i pretend to know something about music, anything about music.
i think i am the kind of person who should write about music though. i know absolutely nothing about music, so everything i say has sort of a cute innocence to it. i played an instrument unsuccessfully for about a year, i can't sing, i have no musical talent. i can't even keep a beat. ryan gets pissed at me everytime i try to sing or do anything because i'm always so off it gives him a headache. but the more i listen to music, the more i realize how great it is. so i'm sitting here, the loveable music buffoon. i mean, i make some people mad because i don't know anything, but no one can hold it against me because at least i'm trying, and i usually don't make a complete ass of myself. i think i have rather good musical taste, and i've learned to at least try to judge music on how much i like it instead of how much other people like it. i mean, i have some stuff i like that people don't understand, but everyone does. for the most part, i tend to gravitate towards good music. a lot of this is because the people i am around listen to good music, but even the stuff i like and they don't ends up being good.
moral of the story, i'm no expert. i really shouldn't be talking about music like i know what i'm saying, but i know what i like and what i don't, even if i can't tell you why its good. its fun to talk about when you are stoned...
so yeah, Sum 41 is pretty pimpin. they are great, their new album is awesome. they are still what i would call punk, but most people would beat me down for doing it. i guess some punk people are too hardcore for their own good, and they end up looking like knobs. punk lovers becoming musical snobs, it has kind of an ironic feeling too it, hehe. but yeah, i guess its pop punk, kind of like green day and blink 182 and such, i guess it is pop, but it is punk at the same time to some degree or something. i really don't care, i just don't want people yelling at me. i've always kind of liked 'punk'. i mean, not real punk, but dookie when it came out, and i loved blink 182 when i heard dammit on the radio for the first time. i got really into MxPx when they were big in junior high, which lead me to NoFX and stuff like that. i still have a ton of stuff on my computer, but it is from an earlier day, when music was hard to find, and full albums weren't even something you looked for at all. i think i found some ftp server that had a ton of it, so its all kind of crappy quality. but still, i have it because i always kind of liked that kind of stuff.
anyways, sum 41, download both of their cds. the first one, All killer no filler or something like that is really good. i mean, its a cd that a lot of people would be able to listen too, even if they really don't like punk at all. it has some great songs on it. like, all the songs are really good, but there are a few songs that you absolutely love. so it end, and you are all pumped, and the next cd comes on, i don't even know what its called. the filename says its called 'does this look infected' or soemthing like that, but i don't quite know, i don't care. anyways, the next cd is even better. like, everything on the new cd you like even more than the songs you really liked on the last cd. it is just really good. everyone should like it, especially songs 5 and 6. they are good... 6 is my favorite, and it even has the best name. yesterday.com. its like, we are jackassed, and yesterday seems like such a cheesy name, so lets call it yesterday.com because its funny. anyways, listen too it if you want...
anyways, sum 41 good. i don't know if it is quite as good as the new Foo Fighters album, but jeebus, this is like their second album? how old are they, 19? 20? 22? they are really young. dave grohl or whoever he is, the lead singer guy or whoever was in nirvana has been making music forever. he has always put out really good shit, with both bands, like really amazing. of course it is going to be incredible. but sum 41 is cool because it surprised me. i never really listened to the first album before now. like, i'd heard it, and i liked it, but i never really listened to it.
so yeah, my musical shpeil is over. oh wait, i watched this mtv diary on sum 41, and i like them even more. they are just pimpin, and they really get along together. they seem to be really cool people, like people i would want to hang out with. so yeah, moral of the story is sum 41 is good, both albums together clock in at like an hour and ten minutes or something, a real major downside i've kind of over looked because i like them so much. download them if you feel fit, otherwise ignore me. oh yeah, and get the foo fighters album dammit. i don't want to have to tell you again.
another thing i act like i know what i'm talking about - movies.
i don't like a lot of movies, the more i think about it. like, i enjoy a lot of movies, even if they are cheesy or bad, and i'm kind of mad at myself with this. i mean, so many movies are coming out or have come out that are kind of a step above everything. we aren't used to movies being this good, so we still latch on to the old wave. there are things like Dude, Where's My Car that are just in a class of their own, and that i'm allowed to love because they are just so good at what they do, but other things. like jerry bruckenhiember films, i don't know many, but they all kind of sum up this feeling. they are being force fed to us, and we are forced to consider them good. like armaggeddon, pearl harbor, these were not good movies. these were cheesy, over the top, crap. the sad thing, this little era of movies are probably going to be remembered by these movies, things like armageddon, charlies angels, and titanic. shit like that. luckily for us, good movies are being made, even if they aren't huge box-office blockbusters. we seem to have gone through a little period there where nothing really good or pushing any limits, they fell into a nice little pattern, a pattern that made a lot of money apparently, because they kept doing it. i guess studios made enough money, that they are allowing other projects to be made, even if they aren't going to blow up in the box-office. good deals. i want to remember movies like requiem, or memento, and lord of the rings and such, things that are being made and made right, because it would be doing the world a disservice not to.
i'm not sure what i'm saying or where i'm going with this.....
i've kind of lost all rational thought pattern, i'm gonna go clean or something.
i think i am the kind of person who should write about music though. i know absolutely nothing about music, so everything i say has sort of a cute innocence to it. i played an instrument unsuccessfully for about a year, i can't sing, i have no musical talent. i can't even keep a beat. ryan gets pissed at me everytime i try to sing or do anything because i'm always so off it gives him a headache. but the more i listen to music, the more i realize how great it is. so i'm sitting here, the loveable music buffoon. i mean, i make some people mad because i don't know anything, but no one can hold it against me because at least i'm trying, and i usually don't make a complete ass of myself. i think i have rather good musical taste, and i've learned to at least try to judge music on how much i like it instead of how much other people like it. i mean, i have some stuff i like that people don't understand, but everyone does. for the most part, i tend to gravitate towards good music. a lot of this is because the people i am around listen to good music, but even the stuff i like and they don't ends up being good.
moral of the story, i'm no expert. i really shouldn't be talking about music like i know what i'm saying, but i know what i like and what i don't, even if i can't tell you why its good. its fun to talk about when you are stoned...
so yeah, Sum 41 is pretty pimpin. they are great, their new album is awesome. they are still what i would call punk, but most people would beat me down for doing it. i guess some punk people are too hardcore for their own good, and they end up looking like knobs. punk lovers becoming musical snobs, it has kind of an ironic feeling too it, hehe. but yeah, i guess its pop punk, kind of like green day and blink 182 and such, i guess it is pop, but it is punk at the same time to some degree or something. i really don't care, i just don't want people yelling at me. i've always kind of liked 'punk'. i mean, not real punk, but dookie when it came out, and i loved blink 182 when i heard dammit on the radio for the first time. i got really into MxPx when they were big in junior high, which lead me to NoFX and stuff like that. i still have a ton of stuff on my computer, but it is from an earlier day, when music was hard to find, and full albums weren't even something you looked for at all. i think i found some ftp server that had a ton of it, so its all kind of crappy quality. but still, i have it because i always kind of liked that kind of stuff.
anyways, sum 41, download both of their cds. the first one, All killer no filler or something like that is really good. i mean, its a cd that a lot of people would be able to listen too, even if they really don't like punk at all. it has some great songs on it. like, all the songs are really good, but there are a few songs that you absolutely love. so it end, and you are all pumped, and the next cd comes on, i don't even know what its called. the filename says its called 'does this look infected' or soemthing like that, but i don't quite know, i don't care. anyways, the next cd is even better. like, everything on the new cd you like even more than the songs you really liked on the last cd. it is just really good. everyone should like it, especially songs 5 and 6. they are good... 6 is my favorite, and it even has the best name. yesterday.com. its like, we are jackassed, and yesterday seems like such a cheesy name, so lets call it yesterday.com because its funny. anyways, listen too it if you want...
anyways, sum 41 good. i don't know if it is quite as good as the new Foo Fighters album, but jeebus, this is like their second album? how old are they, 19? 20? 22? they are really young. dave grohl or whoever he is, the lead singer guy or whoever was in nirvana has been making music forever. he has always put out really good shit, with both bands, like really amazing. of course it is going to be incredible. but sum 41 is cool because it surprised me. i never really listened to the first album before now. like, i'd heard it, and i liked it, but i never really listened to it.
so yeah, my musical shpeil is over. oh wait, i watched this mtv diary on sum 41, and i like them even more. they are just pimpin, and they really get along together. they seem to be really cool people, like people i would want to hang out with. so yeah, moral of the story is sum 41 is good, both albums together clock in at like an hour and ten minutes or something, a real major downside i've kind of over looked because i like them so much. download them if you feel fit, otherwise ignore me. oh yeah, and get the foo fighters album dammit. i don't want to have to tell you again.
another thing i act like i know what i'm talking about - movies.
i don't like a lot of movies, the more i think about it. like, i enjoy a lot of movies, even if they are cheesy or bad, and i'm kind of mad at myself with this. i mean, so many movies are coming out or have come out that are kind of a step above everything. we aren't used to movies being this good, so we still latch on to the old wave. there are things like Dude, Where's My Car that are just in a class of their own, and that i'm allowed to love because they are just so good at what they do, but other things. like jerry bruckenhiember films, i don't know many, but they all kind of sum up this feeling. they are being force fed to us, and we are forced to consider them good. like armaggeddon, pearl harbor, these were not good movies. these were cheesy, over the top, crap. the sad thing, this little era of movies are probably going to be remembered by these movies, things like armageddon, charlies angels, and titanic. shit like that. luckily for us, good movies are being made, even if they aren't huge box-office blockbusters. we seem to have gone through a little period there where nothing really good or pushing any limits, they fell into a nice little pattern, a pattern that made a lot of money apparently, because they kept doing it. i guess studios made enough money, that they are allowing other projects to be made, even if they aren't going to blow up in the box-office. good deals. i want to remember movies like requiem, or memento, and lord of the rings and such, things that are being made and made right, because it would be doing the world a disservice not to.
i'm not sure what i'm saying or where i'm going with this.....
i've kind of lost all rational thought pattern, i'm gonna go clean or something.
Friday, December 13, 2002
ok, so i just don't know what to say
i feel that my ability to talk on this blog has been compromised by this stupid fear that people at work are watching it. i hate work, just one more way i'm getting screwed by my job. i think i am going to go apply at blockbuster video until i get this whole bartender thing sorted out. like, seriously. i don't know if i can stand it any longer. thinking back to how long i have hated my job, and how much if an effort it is just to walk out of my door and start up my car, its draining. there really isn't anything about my job besides the money, and money pisses me off anyways. someday i'm actually going to quiet, and you will see several days of me just yelling about how much i hated my job.
its absolutely rediculous, because no one cares, its just me whining because i don't have the mental capacity to do anything else. everyone hates their job. i talk as if i am alone here, and that everyone should feel bad for me. the real truth, i'm a bitter annoyed little man. i'm a little freak who has managed to work himself into a situation that he can't handle anymore. i've been lying to myself for so long, that i've just snapped. i have such violent mood swings about my job, it is absolutely rediculous.
right now, i haven't been able to find room for anything else besides work. i haven't done laundry in at least a month and a half, because really, why does it matter? work will just fuck up all my clothes again anyways. its not like i do anything besides go to work, and no one there cares. well, thats not exactly true, i just don't care about what anyone cares. if i wasn't forced to care, i wouldn't. i admitted defeat a long time ago at this job. it is really pretty freaking amazing that i haven't just quit. i should have quit a few months ago instead of going to part time, when i had money. because now, i have no money, and i still hate my job. i can't just quit and go on a job search anymore, because i am not 2 paychecks ahead like i used to be. i'm losing money every time around. it used to be that school and work vied for the top position of things i hated the most. i've pretty much given up on school, so it is now a fight between my job, and the prospect of having to work full time at my job.
why do i torture myself. why do i even think about it. why do i even care about getting fired? talk about a blessing in disguise.... getting fired from this job would probably be great. i would be forced to find a new job. the problem is, think about what a blow that would be to my self confidence. getting fired from this job, the thing that has been the fall back plan, something i could always go back to if i was really in a bind. i was in a bind, i came back, endured 2 years of annoyance, and i am back at a point where i am in a bind again. the only problem is, my job is the bind, and the way out of the bind is going to my job more which would just compound the problem.
so instead, i sit here and torture myself. even when i'm not working, i'm thinking about how much work pisses me off
and yes, i know you are sick of me talking about work. i don't care. i don't care. i just don't care.....
i feel that my ability to talk on this blog has been compromised by this stupid fear that people at work are watching it. i hate work, just one more way i'm getting screwed by my job. i think i am going to go apply at blockbuster video until i get this whole bartender thing sorted out. like, seriously. i don't know if i can stand it any longer. thinking back to how long i have hated my job, and how much if an effort it is just to walk out of my door and start up my car, its draining. there really isn't anything about my job besides the money, and money pisses me off anyways. someday i'm actually going to quiet, and you will see several days of me just yelling about how much i hated my job.
its absolutely rediculous, because no one cares, its just me whining because i don't have the mental capacity to do anything else. everyone hates their job. i talk as if i am alone here, and that everyone should feel bad for me. the real truth, i'm a bitter annoyed little man. i'm a little freak who has managed to work himself into a situation that he can't handle anymore. i've been lying to myself for so long, that i've just snapped. i have such violent mood swings about my job, it is absolutely rediculous.
right now, i haven't been able to find room for anything else besides work. i haven't done laundry in at least a month and a half, because really, why does it matter? work will just fuck up all my clothes again anyways. its not like i do anything besides go to work, and no one there cares. well, thats not exactly true, i just don't care about what anyone cares. if i wasn't forced to care, i wouldn't. i admitted defeat a long time ago at this job. it is really pretty freaking amazing that i haven't just quit. i should have quit a few months ago instead of going to part time, when i had money. because now, i have no money, and i still hate my job. i can't just quit and go on a job search anymore, because i am not 2 paychecks ahead like i used to be. i'm losing money every time around. it used to be that school and work vied for the top position of things i hated the most. i've pretty much given up on school, so it is now a fight between my job, and the prospect of having to work full time at my job.
why do i torture myself. why do i even think about it. why do i even care about getting fired? talk about a blessing in disguise.... getting fired from this job would probably be great. i would be forced to find a new job. the problem is, think about what a blow that would be to my self confidence. getting fired from this job, the thing that has been the fall back plan, something i could always go back to if i was really in a bind. i was in a bind, i came back, endured 2 years of annoyance, and i am back at a point where i am in a bind again. the only problem is, my job is the bind, and the way out of the bind is going to my job more which would just compound the problem.
so instead, i sit here and torture myself. even when i'm not working, i'm thinking about how much work pisses me off
and yes, i know you are sick of me talking about work. i don't care. i don't care. i just don't care.....
Thursday, December 12, 2002
poop poop poop.
i wish i could write about work. like, really write about work. i have a lot to say, but i still fear that big brother is watching, and i'm not ready to get fired quite yet......
GAH, so frustrating
i wish i could write about work. like, really write about work. i have a lot to say, but i still fear that big brother is watching, and i'm not ready to get fired quite yet......
GAH, so frustrating
Monday, December 09, 2002
alright, if i ever get off my ass and write a movie script, i figured out what its going to be about. i had an epiphany at about 4:30 in the morning when i was staring at my wall. i was listening to foo fighters, in particular Come Back off their new album. i realized that you could build an entire movie around this one song, and it would be good. so i was like, where would the main character be coming back from? i figured the only place really worthy of the song was war. a few things stemmed from this. it really is an uplifting song, i mean, it kind of instills strength and all. i WILL come back. kind of like, everything was looking down, there was no good side to going to war. but i will come back....
so yeah, that meant that there was no good side to me (the main character obviously) going to war. this made sense. this means i didn't want to go to war, because some people see the whole patriotic aspect to going to war as a good thing. this means i was drafted. it makes sense, because i wouldn't go to war on my own anyways. but i hate the draft, and i would do anything to avoid being drafted. this song would come in at a point at which all hope was lost. obviously, what is happening is this:
setting here.... present or near future, but with kind of a little dimensional shift. you see parallels between this society and our society, but things are taken to extremes and such.
we are going to war, but no one cares. the army needs people, but enlistment booths are dead. literally no one is joining the army because they hate the war and don't believe in it. the government is very stronghanded and frightnening to most people, so there is an air of silence, and pent up rage and fear. no one can stand up, because they are too afraid of what is going to happen to them. so they hide, and go about their business, doing their best to avoid the governments eyes.
the army has no troops, hence the draft. this fills the entire country with a sense of dread, because it is something they will not be able to avoid.
some of us have not been able to avoid the governments eyes. there is a list of young men who are being watched. they don't do anything overtly treasonous, they just don't care enough about the government to fear it. this makes them the most dangerous people in the world, in the governements eyes. the governement builds a list of people to enter into the draft. we are at the head of this list, obviously ;) the governement feels, if they take us out first, those most likely to resist, they will take out everyone elses will to exist. no one really knows us, but they feel our aura of defiance, and build strength on us. verrrry dangerous things. so we need to be out of the way. this is where the draft comes in.
the draft...... no one avoids the draft. if you try to run, you are hunted down. you will be enlisted in the military. NO ONE has ever avoided the draft. the government is smug, they know they are getting rid of their biggest enemies. they never expected us to resist, and more importantly, they never expected us to resist successfully.
so yeah, its all about a group of 5 people. 4 of them we know, one we don't. there are some great scenes where the 4 of us are escaping the draft cop dudes, killing them all and speeding off in various cars, high speed chases, kung fu and such. see, underneath all our non-caring attitudes. we know we are the most bad ass people ever, so we meet up to plan stuff. we figure we would be the top 4 people on the list, hands down, like in our whole own category. but we figure out that there is someone else on the list. not only that, there is someone in the #2 spot, right under me. this is shocking to us. we make it our mission to find this person to help us. we do, and we take on the goverment. we break into the army base where they are holding the draft, and bust our friends out. we prepare for a war with the government. but, during our huge kick ass thing, we can't win. the 5 of us are just not enough, so in the end, we end up being drafted. kind of a surprise ending sort of thing, us getting drafted. there is a nice scene at the end where i'm about to be sent off to boot camp, and i'm talking to my cliche action movie love interest, and come back comes on. when you go into the army, you never come out. you either die, or are a military man forever. kind of a brainwashing 1984 thing. so yeah, i convince her i will come back. see, there have been scenes with our friends throughout that show boot camp, and people being shipped off and tortured and stuff in preperation for the military. lots of torturing, and lots of people having their wills broken. so, the 5 of us meet up on the battlefield during a huge battle, as per our plan. the 5 of us have been taken into special torture consideration, and programmed to kill each other on site so this wouldn't happen again, that kind of thing. so we meet up, and we are all facing eachother, guns drawn. and then we smile, lift up our guns and start running away from the war. at the very end, we destroy draft headquarters, and we bust through the heavily armed border into canada. the last thing you see is this general dude overriding the huge draft database program and changing our 5 statuses from "drafted" to "dodged." it is a huge deal, and involves a complete program override, that kind of thing, and dodged is entered in huge red letters, that kind of thing, and is overall great, because come back comes on again, because i actually did come back.
i think this would make a great movie. my description here really doesn't do it justice, i mean, how do i put images in my head down and get them all in there
so yeah, that meant that there was no good side to me (the main character obviously) going to war. this made sense. this means i didn't want to go to war, because some people see the whole patriotic aspect to going to war as a good thing. this means i was drafted. it makes sense, because i wouldn't go to war on my own anyways. but i hate the draft, and i would do anything to avoid being drafted. this song would come in at a point at which all hope was lost. obviously, what is happening is this:
setting here.... present or near future, but with kind of a little dimensional shift. you see parallels between this society and our society, but things are taken to extremes and such.
we are going to war, but no one cares. the army needs people, but enlistment booths are dead. literally no one is joining the army because they hate the war and don't believe in it. the government is very stronghanded and frightnening to most people, so there is an air of silence, and pent up rage and fear. no one can stand up, because they are too afraid of what is going to happen to them. so they hide, and go about their business, doing their best to avoid the governments eyes.
the army has no troops, hence the draft. this fills the entire country with a sense of dread, because it is something they will not be able to avoid.
some of us have not been able to avoid the governments eyes. there is a list of young men who are being watched. they don't do anything overtly treasonous, they just don't care enough about the government to fear it. this makes them the most dangerous people in the world, in the governements eyes. the governement builds a list of people to enter into the draft. we are at the head of this list, obviously ;) the governement feels, if they take us out first, those most likely to resist, they will take out everyone elses will to exist. no one really knows us, but they feel our aura of defiance, and build strength on us. verrrry dangerous things. so we need to be out of the way. this is where the draft comes in.
the draft...... no one avoids the draft. if you try to run, you are hunted down. you will be enlisted in the military. NO ONE has ever avoided the draft. the government is smug, they know they are getting rid of their biggest enemies. they never expected us to resist, and more importantly, they never expected us to resist successfully.
so yeah, its all about a group of 5 people. 4 of them we know, one we don't. there are some great scenes where the 4 of us are escaping the draft cop dudes, killing them all and speeding off in various cars, high speed chases, kung fu and such. see, underneath all our non-caring attitudes. we know we are the most bad ass people ever, so we meet up to plan stuff. we figure we would be the top 4 people on the list, hands down, like in our whole own category. but we figure out that there is someone else on the list. not only that, there is someone in the #2 spot, right under me. this is shocking to us. we make it our mission to find this person to help us. we do, and we take on the goverment. we break into the army base where they are holding the draft, and bust our friends out. we prepare for a war with the government. but, during our huge kick ass thing, we can't win. the 5 of us are just not enough, so in the end, we end up being drafted. kind of a surprise ending sort of thing, us getting drafted. there is a nice scene at the end where i'm about to be sent off to boot camp, and i'm talking to my cliche action movie love interest, and come back comes on. when you go into the army, you never come out. you either die, or are a military man forever. kind of a brainwashing 1984 thing. so yeah, i convince her i will come back. see, there have been scenes with our friends throughout that show boot camp, and people being shipped off and tortured and stuff in preperation for the military. lots of torturing, and lots of people having their wills broken. so, the 5 of us meet up on the battlefield during a huge battle, as per our plan. the 5 of us have been taken into special torture consideration, and programmed to kill each other on site so this wouldn't happen again, that kind of thing. so we meet up, and we are all facing eachother, guns drawn. and then we smile, lift up our guns and start running away from the war. at the very end, we destroy draft headquarters, and we bust through the heavily armed border into canada. the last thing you see is this general dude overriding the huge draft database program and changing our 5 statuses from "drafted" to "dodged." it is a huge deal, and involves a complete program override, that kind of thing, and dodged is entered in huge red letters, that kind of thing, and is overall great, because come back comes on again, because i actually did come back.
i think this would make a great movie. my description here really doesn't do it justice, i mean, how do i put images in my head down and get them all in there
Saturday, December 07, 2002
one year and one day of statistics compiled here at wanked.net, lets go through some of the vitals. i'm a HUUUGE sucker for this kind of shit
Unique Visitors 23668 - 89.48%
Visits incl. Reloads 26448
Highest Day 386 / 05 Sep, Thu, 2002
Highest Week 1698 / Wk 36, 2002
Highest Month 4266 / Sep, 2002
Highest Hour of the Day 15:00 - 15:59
Highest Day of the Week Thursday
in order of my popularity...
United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, Germany, New Zealand, Belgium, France, Netherlands, Switzerland, Ireland, Austria, Italy, Sweden, South Africa, Denmark, Norway, Japan, Finland, Poland, Brazil, Singapore, Spain, Czech Republic, United Arab Emirates, Greece, Mexico, Malaysia, Portugal, Russian Federation, Estonia, Croatia, Israel, Hungary, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Slovenia, Argentina, Slovak Republic, Thailand, Zimbabwe, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Brunei Darussalam, Mauritius, Colombia, Trinidad and Tobago, Cyprus, Chile, Iceland, Oman, Bermuda, Fiji, Gibraltar, Kyrgyzstan, India, Turkey, Dominican Republic, Zambia, Lebanon, Pakistan, Papua New Guinea, China, Ukraine, Indonesia, Botswana, Peru, Luxembourg
i'm surprisingly popular in eastern europe
anyways, you don't care but its all good. i do, so you have to pay attention :D
bragging time over.
Unique Visitors 23668 - 89.48%
Visits incl. Reloads 26448
Highest Day 386 / 05 Sep, Thu, 2002
Highest Week 1698 / Wk 36, 2002
Highest Month 4266 / Sep, 2002
Highest Hour of the Day 15:00 - 15:59
Highest Day of the Week Thursday
in order of my popularity...
United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, Germany, New Zealand, Belgium, France, Netherlands, Switzerland, Ireland, Austria, Italy, Sweden, South Africa, Denmark, Norway, Japan, Finland, Poland, Brazil, Singapore, Spain, Czech Republic, United Arab Emirates, Greece, Mexico, Malaysia, Portugal, Russian Federation, Estonia, Croatia, Israel, Hungary, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Slovenia, Argentina, Slovak Republic, Thailand, Zimbabwe, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Brunei Darussalam, Mauritius, Colombia, Trinidad and Tobago, Cyprus, Chile, Iceland, Oman, Bermuda, Fiji, Gibraltar, Kyrgyzstan, India, Turkey, Dominican Republic, Zambia, Lebanon, Pakistan, Papua New Guinea, China, Ukraine, Indonesia, Botswana, Peru, Luxembourg
i'm surprisingly popular in eastern europe
anyways, you don't care but its all good. i do, so you have to pay attention :D
bragging time over.
wierd cracked out belligerent shit. who know where it comes from? the fact that i have been sick, and haven't done shit besides work and sleep for the past week plus some. cold medicine has gotten me through the days, and the nights. every night i just up my dosage from the night before, and i go to bed feeling satisfied. pretty soon i won't be sick, and all memory of this unfortunate era will be disavowed. hell, i can't remember much of yesterday already, its pretty sweet because yesterday probably sucked.
anyways, how are you? i focus so much on myself, i probably come off as kind of a dick. i mean, i probably am a dick, but thats no reason for you to have to put up with it all the time. so whats new in your world? i want to know what is on YOUR mind for once.
...
...
fine, i didn't mean it anyways. it was all a ploy to make you think i wasn't a dick. HAH
life is all about appearances after all. swallowing your pride every once in a while goes a loooong way. people who don't are destined to end up without friends complaining to themselves. you see these people on tv all the time. its like a camera brings out everyones base need for individuality. all you hear anymore is "i'm just me, i'm real. if you don't like me, then you can fuck off." where's the comprimise in that? if you say that, you are admitting that no one likes the real you, and that you actually do care. it won't work. any time you see someone say that on blind date or some shit like that, you know they are destined for failure. unless they are full of shit, and were just saying that because it is such a trendy thing to do. i mean, if you say that, you have an excuse to fail in which all the blame lands on the other person. thats bullshit. you are a freaking knob with no people skills, and no ability to compromise, but the other guy comes off looking like the ass? no way, i don't buy it anymore. i see through that crap, on tv anyways.
its all about appearances. make a compromise every once in a while. you getting on someone's nerves? swallow your pride and stop doing the shit that bugs them. even if its bullshit, you have to make yourself look good to other people for a long period of time if you want your friendships to last a long period of time. lots of people just make themselves look good at the beginning, so everyones like yeah yeah, this guy is cool, but then they don't make any effort to keep themselves looking good. they just slack off and then everyone hates them. guilty as charged.
other people realize they need to give a little to take a little, but when they give, they don't do it right. they'll give a lot, or just give something right out of the blue and expect something in return right away. they just do a bad job about keeping up appearances. stupid wankers, somehow they have stumbled on the right idea but they are too clueless to implement it.
its a sticky situation, but once you figure out how to do it, everything is easier. it applies to everything. relationships with family, coworkers, anyone gets easier.....
it takes some work every once in a while, this whole keeping up appearances thing. its easy to get lazy. guilty as charged again. but its worth it, because the little you do will save you a lot of shit later.
anyways, how are you? i focus so much on myself, i probably come off as kind of a dick. i mean, i probably am a dick, but thats no reason for you to have to put up with it all the time. so whats new in your world? i want to know what is on YOUR mind for once.
...
...
fine, i didn't mean it anyways. it was all a ploy to make you think i wasn't a dick. HAH
life is all about appearances after all. swallowing your pride every once in a while goes a loooong way. people who don't are destined to end up without friends complaining to themselves. you see these people on tv all the time. its like a camera brings out everyones base need for individuality. all you hear anymore is "i'm just me, i'm real. if you don't like me, then you can fuck off." where's the comprimise in that? if you say that, you are admitting that no one likes the real you, and that you actually do care. it won't work. any time you see someone say that on blind date or some shit like that, you know they are destined for failure. unless they are full of shit, and were just saying that because it is such a trendy thing to do. i mean, if you say that, you have an excuse to fail in which all the blame lands on the other person. thats bullshit. you are a freaking knob with no people skills, and no ability to compromise, but the other guy comes off looking like the ass? no way, i don't buy it anymore. i see through that crap, on tv anyways.
its all about appearances. make a compromise every once in a while. you getting on someone's nerves? swallow your pride and stop doing the shit that bugs them. even if its bullshit, you have to make yourself look good to other people for a long period of time if you want your friendships to last a long period of time. lots of people just make themselves look good at the beginning, so everyones like yeah yeah, this guy is cool, but then they don't make any effort to keep themselves looking good. they just slack off and then everyone hates them. guilty as charged.
other people realize they need to give a little to take a little, but when they give, they don't do it right. they'll give a lot, or just give something right out of the blue and expect something in return right away. they just do a bad job about keeping up appearances. stupid wankers, somehow they have stumbled on the right idea but they are too clueless to implement it.
its a sticky situation, but once you figure out how to do it, everything is easier. it applies to everything. relationships with family, coworkers, anyone gets easier.....
it takes some work every once in a while, this whole keeping up appearances thing. its easy to get lazy. guilty as charged again. but its worth it, because the little you do will save you a lot of shit later.
