poop, gah poop

gah

poop

people in my office all day. all day!!! wtf, we have 6 staff, 5 offices. i know for a fact that at least 2 of these people aren't here right now. why are there people still in my office all day. so yeah, no blog. maybe when i get home. i was going to skip out early today. but people in my office. in my offfffficcccceeee...... and they are coming downstairs again, to jack my office. AGAIN!!!! peace out, see you tomorrow, if i make it out alive.....

coast may be clear, i probably have about 30 seconds to do this. must be quick. check you later.......

frivved up by Ben at 3:56 PM

doodly dooo....

i'm not going to recreate yesterdays masterpiece. i am too mad. sucks to be me.

anyways, mad shit is going down in seattles seedy underbelly, it looks like. some huge E ring has been snuffed out, based on an investigation into the death of some stupid dude who fell out of a car before it stopped. moron... anyways, he was on E, so they started this huge thing. they have warrants for a bunch of people, and have seized like 50000 pills or something. this is all based on things i have read in the news. they are trying to close down at least 2 clubs, some club in china town, and club fx. club fx sucks, i wouldn't mind if they shut it down. the article today was pretty funny. it was about how the police found people selling drugs openly at club fx. of course, the owner had no idea people were selling or using drugs at his club, and he says he has tight security. well, yeah, he has tight security, except for the parking lot, and the promoters letting all the dealers in the back door, or putting them on the VIP list so they don't get checked. i thought it was kind of funny, because i remember a trip Jay and I took to club fx, where we stood in the parking lot for about a minute in a half until had a dealer approach us. this was after i had convinced the girls upstairs to take me to the bank to get some cash. anyways, completely out in the open, we do this thing. he is sitting there counting pills into my hand, and all these people are walking past. these people come up and hand us rave flyers while this is all going on, and keep moving. completely hilarious. jay and i didn't even stay for the party, we just left. basically, the police and the city council and such are probably going to use this and the teen dance ordinance to effectively shut down the rave scene in seattle. its a good thing the rave scene is dying out and sucked anyways. if this had happened when i was actually going, and i cared, i would have been pissed. but nope, i don't care, and i am laughing.

in other news, i have no penis. i lent it to german ben last night, and he hasn't given it back. that is all for now..........

frivved up by Ben at 3:13 PM

alright, coast seems to be clear. see you all later, who knows, maybe i will get motivated and blog it all from home again. but god, do i need a shower.......

frivved up by Ben at 3:13 PM

OH GOD DOES THAT PISS ME OFF

oh god oh god oh god....... someone came down the stairs, so i had to flip to this email. anyways, i clicked on the email, and was looking at it, and it opened the webpage on the email. it opened the webpage in the same page that i was blogging. now, this wouldn't have been a problem, because you can just push back and all your shit is still there. but this is one of those sites that won't let you push back and get to the website you were just at. you know the type i am talking about. where you sit there clicking madly on the back button, and all it does is sit there and open the same damn page you were already looking at AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF TRASH WEBPAGE.

damn, i was just finishing with my blog too. jesus h nuts. i'll try to reproduce it tomorrow, because it was a good one. right now, i am going to try and just leave work, because i am so pissed. actually, i am going to try and leave because i don't want to be here. but, this just gives me one more excuse...

anyways, preliminary scouting of operation sneak out of work underway....

frivved up by Ben at 3:10 PM

hahaha, ok... i'm sorry trav, but your blog made me kind of chuckle :) something about the fact that your shattest day ever revolved around not getting into the Beavis and Butthead movie just struck me as funny.

anyways, i have to go back to work pretty soon here, will blog more....

frivved up by Ben at 1:13 PM

OPERATION SNEAK OUT OF WORK SUCCESSFUL.

anyways, i updated the links on my template, so the buffooned network should be up and funtional.

frivved up by Ben at 5:20 PM

hooooAH!

so yeah, i've been chatting with my coworker about the project we are on together. we got to talking about working, and about how she came in 20 minutes early to make up for her "goof off time". it was like she was explaining appologetically why she was leaving so early, when she was actually leaving 20 minutes late. and here i am, i showed up like an hour and a half late, took a 30 minute break after going to the dump, and will probably leave right after she leaves (which she still hasn't by the way, even though it is 4:20 already). i just kind of humored her conversation, acting like i understood the 20 minutes of goof off time thing. it is just boggling. she has worked here for 3 years now, something like that. she is the most senior person on our staff. she is pissed about work now, which is the first time i have seen, from her. she seems to be giving in to the fact that a lot of things around here are bullshit. she mentioned in passing our next planting season, and she added on "if we are even still working here by then." that is the first time i have heard her say that. everyone else makes those jokes, and are looking for other jobs and such. i didn't think she will leave until she had too, until recently. it seems to me, at least, like she is getting more jaded like everyone else. i guess getting jaded is not the right term. maybe losing her naivety.

but still she worrys about leaving early one day. she works over like every day, and still marks down a 40 hour week. and one day she plans on leaving early, even though she is actually leaving late still, and she feels bad. i guess i don't understand. i mean, i feel kind of bad when i am at work and not working, at least when people are around in my office. but when i make it out the door and too my car, all worries disappear. actually, i really don't feel bad, it is more a slight fear of getting caught. i still have this remnant of my goodie two shoes boy scout past lurking just below the surface. i am afraid of getting caught when i am doing something i shouldn't be doing. i mean, usually i still do it, i just worry about it. it causes me to go to great lengths to cover my tracks, and give people the impression that i am not doing anything wrong. it actually kind of turns it into a game.

i sincerely doubt i will ever seriously get in trouble for what i do to this place. when you think about it, i have been "lying" on my time sheets for over a year and a half now. but it has never been a problem. i have never officially been called out on it. once, it was mentioned that i didn't come back to the office, and i just said that i had, and that was that. the week after that, i was afraid, and actually went to most of my shifts. but soon after, i was right back into the swing of things.

i don't really feel bad about doing this. if i stayed at the office the entire time, i wouldn't be doing anything anyways. what does it really matter if i do nothing at home, instead of half asleep staring at a blank screen on my laptop at work here. they never really give me any work to do. when i do get work, it is just complete bullshit to sate their need to have me actually work from time to time. half of it i ignore, because i know it doesn't really matter to them, and they will forget about it in a week or so. i come around and clean up the scraps. i get all the jobs no one else wants. if they were really important and needed to be done, someone else would have done them already. as it is, the stuff i do is just shit people have been putting off and have forgotten about for months, years in some cases. these things were handed to them when they were new, and they never did it, and now it is handed to me. so i am following with the tradition, and not doing them. the stuff that is actually important, i actually do. like the one major project i am on now, we have deadlines and stuff, and i meet them all. our worklog is always up to date, our monthly reports are always in on time. i think we are the only project where this is true. when we have something to do, i am attentive, and take a fair portion of the work, and i do the best i can on it. but, that takes like 2 hours a month, with like 8 hours of work every 3 months or something. i don't know how to do the rest of the stuff, or even what to do. in fact, i have no clue what the rest of my coworkers do with their time. they always seem to be doing something, i just can't figure out what it is. i don't think anyone actually does anything here. i think they just give themselves the impression that they are doing something, and convincing themselves that they are busy. when things finally do come along, and they are actually busy, it seems like they are busy beyond all reason. i don't have these notions. i know i'm not busy, so i just fuck around instead of busying myself with shuffling papers around, and making copies of old documents or whatever.

the thing is, i am really good at spacing out the things i actually do, so it seems like i am constantly producing results. that way, when people ask me what i have done, i can rattle off things i have done in the past 2 months or so, and then rattle off things i am working on (read going to do sometime in the next few months). i have become very good at bullshitting this stuff. you should have seen this presentation i gave at the end of summer. it was all complete crap, but it was what everyone wanted to hear. none of the stuff i said i was going to do actually got done. thats because most of it was completely fabricated, and really had no bearing on anything. so a bunch of the stuff i can say i did because in the long run it really doesn't affect anything, and really had no real purpose to begin with. over the summer, this wasn't such a big deal, but lately i have really been honing my skills at this.

i spend 99% of my time at the office doing absolutely nothing. i keep putting out results at a steady pace, so it gives the illusion of accomplishment and dilligence.

it all comes down to the fact that i really don't care. they all seem to care. thats good for them, but i think they would be under a lot less stress if they just realized what bullshit this whole thing is.

so, i blog about it. if anyone from work ever reads my blog... ok, this would never happen. this is just speaking hypothetically, for the sake of conversation :) lets say someone read my blog, and actually went through and read everything about work. if it was one of my bosses, i would have some explaining to do, but i could pretty easily explain it. i would talk about exaggeration (obviously a lot of what i write is exaggerated, as is just about everything). of course, when i talk about exaggeration, i would exaggerate that. pretty soon that would tie into entertainment. i would say to them that there are shreds of truth to it all, but in reality is just makes for a good story. i could very easily get myself out of that pickle. if one of my coworkers read it, at first they would be slightly annoyed, but i think all of them have the ability to laugh about it, and think me as a genius. the initial uneasyness would be, well, uneasy, but it actually might make things easier. a lot of what i do at work is try to convince my coworkers that i am actually working. it is very easy to fool my bosses, because they are blissfully ignorant about a lot of things. but if i didn't have to stay until just after my coworkers leave, to give the impression of me staying late, or flip to an excel sheet whenever someone comes downstairs.... jesus, i don't even want to think about it. for me to actually be in cahoots with all my coworkers.

it would be a dream come true :)

anyways, speaking of which.

Operation: Sneak out of work
Code name: money for nothing
Status: IN PROGRESS

we have a code green. begin weekend algorithmorgasms in
5
4
3
2
1

.......

peace out, have a good weekend everyone :) i hope something happens, and i get to see some of you guys.

frivved up by Ben at 4:47 PM

smelly trash, smellllly trash.....

another dump run successful. well, minorly successful. i ended up making a mess everywhere, because the crap i had to throw away was sheer crazyness, but it all made it to the dump, and is now ready to be sent to some landfill or whatever they do with it. yeehaw!!!! the trash place was fuller and smellier than i have ever seen it.

operation have a crappy day is going pretty well here. it took me forever to get up, because i couldn't fall asleep last night and i drank all that wine. but when i did, it was all sunny, and it looked like it was going to be a good day. the day pretty much sucks now. but it is friday, so it is hard to get too mad at it. so blizzat, blizzing, and blizzog

i think tripat is my hero now. i forget what he said, but something was really funny. so yeah, way to go tripat, for doing... stuff...

i finally picked up the bear head from the old house. my dad has been bitching at me for like 2 months to go pick it up. he will be pleased, i guess. i think i am going to hang it in my room somewhere, because i don't think he wants it back necessarily, he just didn't want it at a place that i didn't live. he hates the thing, but he doesn't want to get shit from his dad for losing it. understandable i guess. i kind of need to clean my room. maybe having a bear head to put up will inspire me to do laundry and vaccuum and all that high brow, snazzy stuff that other people seem to do, but i don't. i have a few things i should do in my room to clean things up a little. no one ever really goes in my room, besides to yell at me to get up, or get off my computer, so it isn't that big of a deal. and it isn't like it is filthy, its just untidy is all...

whats up with those malaysian guys going crazy on manuels CUMment link? that was pretty funny, i must say, its just like where the hell did these guys come from. speaking of manuels links, that jehova's witness thing was hilarity.

work sucks. it is way too early to attempt operation sneak out of work. or is it.........

yes it is. fucked!

you drive me craaaazy, la laala la. i'm so excited, something sommmething.

uninspired, bleh. i need to go smoke some drugs or something.

frivved up by Ben at 1:42 PM

oops, i forgot to go back to work today, how could this happen!!!!!!

i am pretty damn good. operation sneak out of work went so well today, that i didn't even go! anyways, yeah, i'm blogging from home, not work. i feel so warm and fuzzy. the problem is, i don't have anything to say, besides "i am hungry." i'm sitting here at my computer, and i actually blurted it out a few minutes ago, and i was like damn, i talked, and i didn't even realize it. i would go eat, but i just ate 3 sandwiches, if i eat more, i am going to feel sick. in a few minutes, i won't be as hungry...

ok, back on the subject of asses again. if your ass is nice, and your ass poops, then wouldn't your poop have to be nice? the thing is, it isn't, it is crap. the solution to this problem? girls don't poop. not at all an original idea, but something for some reason i was thinking about today.

my thoughts have been even more scattered today. its like, all of the sudden my mind starts replacing words with other words. me and my coworkers were playing this game while we were weeding today to make the time pass faster. when i say while, i mean instead of. actually i don't, but that is besides the point. anyways, it was this game. one person thinks of a movie title. the other people have to guess the movie. the only clue they get to begin with is the letter the movie title starts with. they then have to describe movies that start with that title. if the original person can't get it from the description, the person trying to guess gets to ask the original person a yes or no question about the movie. anyways, i was the original person, and i picked the sound of music. so all day, something has been a live with the sound of something else. like, for a while, my balls were alive with the sound of deez nuts. then my car was alive with the sound of going home. it has been kind of funny, at least i think so.

anyways, i'm wasting time, i have important stuff to do today, like nothing. i have a full day in the office tomorrow, so hopefully i will find some time in my busy schedule to blog...

frivved up by Ben at 2:37 PM

blodiggly!

now that it has been like 4 days since i have blogged, i feel bad. i mean, people come here to read stuff, not wonder if my operation to sneak out of work was successful (sorry trip ;). i know i know, my blog should just be for me, and i shouldn't care if people come and see a page of old blatherings, but people do come to see me talking about stuff, and i feel i have left them down if i don't post anything. i think i should just post a few words everyday or something. then people would be mad at me for posting a bunch of crap, lol. so yeah, my bad for not posting, but my posts these day have been getting longer, just like i wanted them too :) it makes them harder to read, but they make me happy.

another thing about not blogging for a few days that makes me angry.... when you think about it, whenever i am not blogging, i am forgetting things i should be blogging about. i mean damn, how many cool things have i missed out on writing about in the past few days? we'll never know. i should just hook my brain up to a palm pilot or something, that way i can blog whenever i want and not have to worry about it. then it would start picking up things i didn't want it too and publishing them. the blog would be filled with thought processes like "cold cold, doh ow, cold cold doh, ow FREESTYLA, WOO HOO, doh back to work, WOO HOO, damn she's hot, why isn't she naked, naked boobs, boobs, hot, boobs hot" then it would probably trail off somewhere, and then be followed by a few moments of silence while i kind of blank out. it would probably be pretty funny to begin with, but it would get old.

speaking of attractive body parts, my ass has been sore lately. not my ass ass, but like my cheek muscles. i don't know why, i haven't done anything to make my ass muscles sore. sometimes, its just like all of the sudden my ass starts cramping. ok, that looks way too much like my ass starts crapping. i'm going to drop this subject now, and move on...

uhh yeah.... ok, i admit it, i am still thinking about my crapping ass

work, work is always a good subject, talk about work. so anyways, my boss is crazy, but everyone already knows that. she came to the jobsite where me and two of my coworkers were working today, and i was in charge, so i got to talk to her about it. i'm not going into detail, but i thought the conversation was all pretty funny. i told my coworkers about it, and they were amazed that i hadn't snapped and started running in circles, hitting myself in the head with a weeding tool. anyways, it was kind of cool, because it sparked this whole conversation, that was actually kind of nice. this was one of the first times that the 3 male employees at starflower worked together, and not had any females coworkers around. not that female coworkers are a bad thing, but work just had a different vibe today. it was fun to be able to just kind of chat it up with these two guys, because we never really have much to say over the constant chatter between my female coworkers ;) i'm not saying i mind it or anything, but it was fun to have that little difference, at least for one day. anyways, they were impressed that i didn't go crazy. actually, i kind of am too. i'm really glad my other coworker wasn't there, because she would have had to talk to ann, and she would have snapped. it wouldn't have been pretty.

so yeah, work is pretty anticlimactic this week, even though a lot of pretty funny stuff is going on. i just don't really feel like blogging about it, because it always turns into me bitching about stuff, even if it is in a humorous way. i think bryans positivie energy is rubbing off on me or something, because i don't feel like bitching about work.... for once....

bloop in da soup, speaking of bryan, we've been talking a lot lately. at first i was kind of wierded out by it, which is kind of understandable because we hadn't really talked much before. now, though, i feel comfortable talking too him, and i think we can be really good friends. like, beyond just roomate-friends. we agree on a lot of the stuff we are talking about, and we both have interesting things to say. it is a lot like the few times i talked with aaron back in that hizzouse, its pretty cool. it is kind of nice, because before this, we hadn't really talked.

on the other hand, i think matt is kind of pissed at me. my bad, it was a fun night. i mean, he wouldn't have smoked out if i hadn't told him i wanted him to join me because it had been a while since we had, so you can't really blame him for actually doing it :P its not really my place to say, but it is kind of silly to be mad at HIM about it, when it was my fault. in the end, we had a lot of fun together, and i'm really glad i convinced him to join me.

i am soon to be more out of money than i already am. i am going to get the car registered under my name, and get my own insurance policy, that i will pay on my own. and, i just started paying back the loans i had in college. ouch ouch ouch. i guess i won't be getting a new computer any time soon, after all.

ok ok ok, i had to do it. we were grubbing blackberrys at work today, which is a lot more fun than weeding. there were only a few problems with it. first off, these blackberrys were on steroids. we'd pull out the rootball, and it went like 3 feet down. one of them had this twisted gnarled mess of roots that was as big as my head. it was crazy. also, i am picking broken off thorns out of my fingers before they heal over and i have to rip open newly formed skin to get them out. that really sucks when that happens, but sometimes you just don't notice them in time. oh yeah, and i have scratches all over my hands :D i'm always in the mood to bitch about work ;)

4 weeks from friday, i'm 21, that is hard to believe. its like, all this time i have been building this date up in my head. typical, oh god, everything will be different when i am 21! but in reality, not much will change. it will be nice to be able to buy my own liquor. that is about the only real change i will see. 21 run should be fun, mostly because i haven't been too many bars in my life. it will be fun to get completely smashed in public :) the great thing is, no matter how hungover i am, i don't have to go to work the next day. if they even try to schedule me at a work party on saturday, i'm going to shoot them down. actually, i am going to send an email right now that i can't work that saturday........ haha, done and done :)

in some ways, a lot of things are changing right now. everyone seems to be going through some sort of personal upheaval, for better or worse. not everyone is doing it on the same magnitude bryan seems to be, but things are changing all of the sudden. i dunno exactly what is changing yet with me, but i know something is. if you guys spot anything in the weeks to come, tell me, otherwise i will be sitting around beating myself up over it ;) of course that would kind of be counter productive, considering this is supposed to be a time of personal upheaval. anyways, yeah. i hope someone else has noticed this, because if not i have just made a brash generalization that isn't really true.

brash generalizations can be funny like that. i mean, really whenever someone says something about everyone, it is kind of funny. a lot of very humorous things come out of it.

bah, this whole blog i have had a lot of trouble just collecting my thought process long enough to type 2 sentances. its like, i have been sitting here, with all these random thoughts wizzing around, but i can't catch them long enough to put them down on paper, or keyboard, or screen, or whatever i am putting them down on here. sometimes, i just have trouble conveying what i am thinking. i know this is not a unique thing, but it just happens. it is one of those things that just makes life more interesting :)

bah bah BAH!!!! stupid coworkers, in my office ;) just as i am collecting some thoughts, they come in so i can't blog. bloop, this blog is over, because my coworker is in the bathroom. check you all later

frivved up by Ben at 4:00 PM

commence operation sneak out of work...

frivved up by Ben at 3:42 PM

lol, oops

i had to do something, people came in. anyways, about bryan and his talking. i am not annoyed when bryan talks to me. i think its great. i am just speaking from my high perspective last night. he just kept talking, and not smoking, and he was holding the bong so there was nothing we could do. it was actually pretty funny :)

so yeah, last night was jackassery. i don't think i have ever been that high before. high enough that it actually impairs all movement. walking just wasn't working. i felt like i was leaning back and my legs were moving in a circle, kind of like a south park character or something. i just walked around for a little bit, and imagined funny music in the background. it was great :)

so yeah, i started smoking again... i had been holding out, in case i got that new job and i had to take a drug test and stuff. but that doesn't look like it is going to happen. whatever, i've come to terms with my current work situation, at least for another week or so.

i'm scheduled at another work party next weekend. only i am the only one schedule out there at all. and on thursday, they told us that we werent needed. yeah, sure i'm going to that one...

frivved up by Ben at 3:42 PM

wap ap a doo wap a wap bam boom

so yes... this week has turned out to be more than half decent. after thinking it was going to be the worst week ever, and that i would end up quitting half way through, it turned out to be just another week. not much to love, but not much to hate either. so yeah, i'm happy, good times, etc etc etc. i'm ready to get good and trizznashed tonight.

one thing about work. i seem to be poison to any work party i am scheduled for. the work party last saturday or whenever, like half the people who were supposed to show up actually did. first work party i went too, no one showed up from the community. the one with the high school kids, not enough people showed up to deal with the extra kids that showed up. this last one on thursday, one community member showed up, even though they have them every 2nd or 3rd thursday, whatever it was. they were expecting like 12 people, and one person showed up. it made for a funny work party. me and chris just kind of bullshitted around. it was actually really fun, chris is a good guy. in the end, we planted 5 trees, and dug out some blackberry, and that was it, hahaha. neither of us were going to go out of our way to look for something to do...

so yeah, i get to thinking about things, just kind of randomly. today i started thinking about early man's greatest achievements. i don't know why, but i did. i started listing down a few things in my head, and started sorting through them trying to figure out what was most important for the advancement of humankind. not necessarily best for the advancement of civilization, i had to tell myself, but best for humankind. i actually share my ancient history prof at UW's view, that agriculture is the greatest thing, ever. we owe our lives to the first person who planted wheat or whatever, so they wouldn't have to roam to find food. i mean think about it. it meant that many more people could live on a smaller area of land. it gave people a perminant place to live, which lead to the formation of perminant dwellings and cities and the like. it, in a very basic form, started the specialization of trades. not everyone worked the land, but still they ate, because they brought something else to the table that people were willing to trade food for. agriculture was hugely important. at BCC, i wrote this great essay on one of my tests about how agriculture was the single most important thing in early history, and i got a bad grade because my teacher was stupid or something. well, he didn't agree with me. he must be stupid.

anyways, i had that thought in my head, and started thinking about what else was important. currency came to mind fairly quickly, then writing, and then art. art is kind of a tricky one to explain. it is more a symbol of the rise of civilization. it wasn't good for humankind directly, but because civilization was good for humankind, i decided to leave it. art is important, because it is something that no one needs, yet still paid for. it was one of the first luxuries people had. it marked a huge step towards the seperation of humans from the rest of the animal kingdom, because it is something we make and want purely for pleasure's sake, not because some survival instinct tells us we need it. it is a symbol of higher level thinking.

after thinking about art for a while, i kind of got off track when a humorous thought popped into my head. what about drugs? i asked myself. man finds poisonous plant. man eats poisonous plant. man starts seeing strange things. man eats more. i mean, seriously, how rediculous are drugs. you take things that are poisonous, and you eat them because they make you feel funny. but don't take too much, because it will kill you. man runs out of wood for fire. man piles bush nearby on fire to keep it burning. man gets stoned off his ass, and carrys around the plant, creating small fires with the plant. i mean, rediculous i tell you!!! but somehow, it is so very necessary :) when you think about it, everything is rediculous.

last night, everything was beyond rediculous. friends was the most insane, jackassed show ever. it was just crazyness. words cannot describe how strange it was to us. perhaps more rediculous than friends, was bryan. he kept talking, only i didn't know what he was talking about, or why he kept talking. and he wouldn't stop talking, even to take a hit from the bong. the circle would just stop, and me and matt would just be there dancing, like, dammit, take a hit, we want some more!!! and he would just talk, and we had to pay attention because he had the bong. it was kind of annoying, but

frivved up by Ben at 3:26 PM

operation sneak out of work unsuccessful. will try again later, ahhhh well.....

frivved up by Ben at 3:00 PM

today is turning into a much better day than yesterday. now that i am inside, out of the cold, i don't really care that much. anger has receeded, total lack of emotion one way or the other is beginning to take over.

i woke up wishing for something catastrophic and cataclysmic to take places, say an earth-wrenching earthquake destroying half of seattle. after that, i wished someone would crash into my car on the drive over. after that, i accepted the fact that i had to work. work this morning was fairly annoying, but not as bad after the first 45 minutes went past. i got used to the cold, pushed all thoughts of rash suicide out of my head, chanted FREESTYLA a few times, and then got to the working. no one else wanted to be there, and wendy my coworker hadn't had her coffee, so no one wanted to talk. i kind of isolated myself, which was very good. this morning, my job represented everything that is evil and impure, and because of that my coworkers obviously were evil and impure. i went and pouted in my corner of the park, and distanced myself from everyone else, because they didn't deserve me being annoyed at them. it actually worked out very well. they were all avoiding everyone too, so it was all ok. it was cold, but it is winter. i couldn't get too mad at the cold. anyways, i'm in the office, my day is over halfway done, and i have the hard half over with. so, this day isn't half bad. i'm gonna go home, take a hot shower to defrost myself, and probably take a nap. all will be well.

i have always been the type of person who needs 8 hours of sleep. if i had my choice, i would get 12+ hours of sleep a night. one thing that sucks, is that i have fallen into a routine. 10 months straight of waking up before 7 has me always waking up before 7. even on the weekends, i'll jerk myself out of sleep at about 7:30, expecting to be late to work. i always end up getting back to sleep for a few more hours, but 8 hours of sleep in 3 chunks isn't quite the same. on top of that, i am a relatively light sleeper until i hit that deep sleep everyone wants. i have a lot of trouble getting to sleep in the first place, and even more trouble getting back to sleep and staying that way. this makes for a lot of restless nights, and a lot of exhausted day. i have groomed myself to function on my average 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night, but it rarely goes beyond just functioning. i would try to go to bed earlier, but i can very very very rarely fall asleep before about 1, even if i try. there are a few times, where i lay down to take a nap or something in the evening, and wake up about 4 in the morning, and end up just laying there for a few more hours... basically, i am bemoaning the fact that i have adopted the sleep cycle of everyone in america with a full time job. i really enjoyed the days at college or at home, where i didn't really worry about when i went to sleep, or how long i stayed up. i don't think sleep is meant to be had in a pattern. i think your body should naturally fluctuate, that sometimes it is ok to stay up longer, and then sleep longer. it is kind of like the whole 3 meals a day thing. a lot of times, i won't eat 1 or even 2 of those meals, just because i feel i have to eat when the world says i should. in college, i would have been much more well fed if subway had been open 24 hours.

as much as i don't want my life to be bound by patterns, my mind has this strange urge to find patterns in everything. i like numbers that are even or the same, things to be just as tall as eachother, furniture to line up, blah blah blah. my mind picks out patterns in a lot of things. maybe we actually are supposed to sleep and eat in patterns. maybe my mind is just mooching all the patterns, and isn't leaving anything behind for my body.

i read this book recently. actually, it was this weekend. i started it on friday, finished on sunday, all 800 pages. it sucked me in, it was great. it was by one of my favorite authors. he used to be my favorite author, but now he is just one of my favorites after reading this book. it was a great book, i loved it, but there were a lot of silly things he did when he was writing it, that were really uncharacteristic of the rest of his books. i think he let his wife write too much of it. recently, he has been giving some writing credit to his wife, and i think let her do a little too much of this one. i'm all for a strong female characters, but all the female characters in this book were too strong. it was a fantasy book, so you expect the females to be somewhat princess-like, a little silly, and hopelessly addicted to romance. none of these female characters were, it was kind of disappointing. also, in the end, everyone got married. like, everyone paired off like a jr. high dance. it was just stupid, and it really annoyed me. there wasn't really any build up too it, they all just kind of ended up being in love. there was no falling in love period though, they were all just like, blink, ok, i'm in love. then the guy turned into a slave for his overly strong female character significant other. realllllly annoying, because the male characters could have been really cool. i mean, it is ok to have people fall in love, but it is nice if there is some sort of relationship, or build up, or anything between the two people. after the first 4 or so couples paired off, it got really predictable. there were also a few things about the writing style that annoyed me. one of the words in every phrase in every conversation was italicized to give emphasis to that particular word. now, italicizing for emphasis is good, if it is used in moderation. it should only be used for really important words, in my opinion. mostly, because when i am reading, and i find an italicized word, my mind reallllly stresses it. so the conversations were all out of wack in my head, because my mind kept elongating these words, and adding way too much emphasis. it gaves all interaction between the characters a comical, completely sarcastic quality. on top of that, all the characters were really sarcastic anyways. the book had a very dry humor. it gave the book a light fun tone, that i liked, but it could have been toned down slightly. like, it is really fun when one or two of the characters have a really dry wit, especially when those characters interact. but in this book, everyone had a dry sense of humor, so they were constantly cracking down on eachother. it just seemed out of place, at times. oh, another thing. they had all these sections within chapters, you know the type that end with just a double spacing, instead of beginning a new chapter? well, every one of these sections ended with one of the characters saying some completely over-exaggerated catch phrase type thing. like "Why me!" and stuff like that. it reminded me of a cheesy episode of Who's the Boss or something, or even worse, Home Alone. it seemed like you were supposed to be reading parts of these books with a laugh track in your head, with the authors holding up an applause sign at the end of each one of these sections. i'm sure they thought they were terribly clever when they were writing it, but after 800 pages it becomes very stupid, and not clever at all.

i feel really bad for picking apart this book, because i really liked it. only, it could have been SO much better. it was a great story. also, it was a stand alone novel. if it had been twice, or 3 times as long, maybe a trilogy or something, it would have been incredible.

end book critic mode, enter sneak out of the office mode. hopefully. people are having a meeting in the library, so i think i am out like all sorts of trout. we shall see...

frivved up by Ben at 2:55 PM

*blip*

sitting here, thinking about nothing in particular. watching tv, nothing in particular. my life these days seems to have a lot to do with nothing in particular. i hate work. why? really, there is no particular reason. at this point, i don't think i could find anything that could hold my attention for a year and a half, and still be interesting. i get bored with everything too fast. thus, my life seems to lack focus. i seem to blip back and forth between interests, but there is no constant thing that holds everything together. i am constantly looking for new things, in hopes that it will hold my interest for more than a few hours. i simply can't find things that excite me...

*blip*

why are bowling alleys the wierdest places on earth. they are this wierd mesh of every single thing you could possibly want to avoid. because of this, they are some of the funniest places in the world. there were some scary people. it was league night...

*blip*

so many things are cool because they are taboo. i don't get it. well, actually i do get it, to some degree. only my taboos should be cool though...

*blip*

sometimes i wish i could care about anything enough to really care about it. my room gets trashed, and i don't clean it. why would i really clean it? it is my room, and i can live with it. its not like anyone else is going to be actually using it in the future besides me. sometimes it would be nice to have everything clean. the thing is, all my clothes get absolutely trashed at work. so i get home, and i am filthy. i'm sitting here with mud caked on me, exhausted. sure, that is going to inspire me to vaccuum...

*blip*

i see things happening, and i feel like being a part of them. except when i am actually a part of them, i find them to be extremely boring. unless one of a few things are involved. the main thing makes things interesting: alcohol. alcohol makes just about anything fun to me. of course, alcohol and me doesn't make everything fun to everyone else. that seems to be a problem, sometimes...

*blip*

mtv's jackass. quite possibly the best show ever. all the things i ever wanted to do, but never had the balls to do. some of this shit is just wacky. johnny knoxville is alergic to bees. so he goes to this bee places and gets bees put all over his crotch. now, they have made a slingshot out of a chair, and a bunch of like car fan belts. they are going to fling themselves into this green pond. good god, true life "i'm a beauty queen". this has the makings of a boobtastic show...

*blip*

i was reading about peyote and mescaline today at work. now it is all i can think about. i want to buy a san pedro cactus and boil it down to extract the mescaline. i found this site that says you can boil it down to this paste type thing, then freeze it. then you can cut it up and swallow the little pieces, and you don't have to synthesize anything. i wish i could turn my basement into a drug lab. i can see it now, a little chemistry set set up with a vaccuum aspirator to make E, and 3 sets of plantings set up, one for weed, one for mushrooms, and one for peyote cactuses. fuck that, i wish i lived with a drug dealer. that would be just about the coolest thing i could think off...

*blip*

being poetic is a wonderful thing. the best way to be poetic is to get really fucked up on something. poetry is just writing that is slightly a skew. to be poetic, your mind has to be slightly askew. i can't think of a better way to achieve this state of mind....

*blip*

searching for things to liven up my life. everything i find to do this is illegal. this makes livening things up slightly more challenging. luckily, my morals have nothing against drugs and alcohol. otherwise, i would really be fucked.

ok, you know, i have gotten off track with this whole blip thing. i am not in a random enough mood to make it as cool as that last one was :) it was still fun, but peace out.

frivved up by Ben at 11:22 PM

hate work, hate it. work is duely hated.

i don't know why i even bother sometimes. i wish i could just quit. it seems like such a good solution these days. things are only going to get worse, and there is little or no opportunity for advancement. i wish i could just get another damn job or something. of course, i'm not really looking. in fact, i'm not looking at all. this is going to turn into another one of those things from about a year ago where i was like "blah blah blah, still need to find a job, but i don't want one". in anycase, work is the root of all evil. my job is directly responsible for escalating sports salaries, and the situation in afghanistan. i am sure of it. i really hate the concept of it. not the concept of providing a service for money, but what i am doing. i don't see myself as providing any sort of worthwhile service. i get paid to pretend to be doing stuff, and avoiding other stuff. eventually these responsibilities catch up with me, and i either have to flat out lie, or hide for a few days. eventually it gets to the point where i have to do stuff. i would have done the stuff earlier if i believed there was any reason whatsoever to do it. but no, i find my job completely worthless. the only reason i will tell you otherwise, is if i am trying to impress you. ok, thats not entirely true. there are times where i feel good about work, and like i am doing something helpful, and that the stuff we are trying might actually work. not today. today i hate work. today, there is nothing good that could possibly come from anything remotely related to the environmental restoration field.

i am destined to hate every job i will ever have. i am destined to never get an education, because it is too close to work. i am destined to end up a bitter old man, with no money for retirement because I don't earn enough to live decently, let alone save money i am destined to die with only my blog to keep me company. all because of work. oh, how i hate you...

frivved up by Ben at 3:33 PM

what a crazy world we're living in...

i wish i had a big hat like jamiraquoi. i wish i was jamiraquoi. he is a pimp. great music. love it.

anyways, i was thinking the other day, saturday to be exact. i was sitting in the mud, planting trees, and pondering the state of the world we live in today. this, of course, was limited to american society. america is the world i live in, so it is just natural that this is the part i would be thinking of. i came to a few conclusions. 1) the world is really really fucked up. 2) there is nothing i can do about it. 3) the more i think about it, the more i really don't care that the world is fucked up, and that there is nothing i can do about it.

those were the general themes. i ended up dwelling on a few specific things, however. first, we tend to base our self worth on monitary success. based on this assumption, intelligence is punished in america. we have the smartest people in the country toiling away at these great projects for generally fairly low salaries. we have a nation that as far as i know is still cutting funding for scientific research. we have the tech sector laying off people in huge numbers. these are the smart people. they make a living, but not really that much more. we tend to reward raw physical talent, and with it stupidity, at least compared to the incredible minds we have at the other end of the spectrum. athletes making a quarter of a billion dollars over 10 years, while entire programs are cut because they are going to spend a tenth of that over twenty years. we have rappers living in huge beverly hills mansions with a garage full of crazy cars while much smarter and talented people are scrapping together mortage payments.

i was thinking about all this, and how depressing it can be. no wonder our education system is one of the worst in the civilized world. you guys went to high school. you guys saw the fancy astroturf stadiums, and the spiffy jerseys the football team had, while the science department had to force students to buy their own biology books, because there wasn't enough money in the budget. the fact that our PE class couldn't use the turf half the time, because they were afraid we would ruin it. the fact that we had our graduation at Juanita high school because they didn't want the chairs and the risers out on the field, because it would ruin the turf. bull shit. sports are bull shit. i have decided this. complete bull shit. but i don't really care. i follow them still. i get excited when the mariners are winning. i get pissed when the seahawks blow a game. i perpetuate this bull shit. my bad, my bad.

i don't want to talk about this anymore. i don't want to blog anymore, be back later today, hopefully

frivved up by Ben at 2:19 PM

haha, great, i have alienated myself from another social group :) matt and shannon, you guys suck, lol

frivved up by Ben at 4:36 PM

so, here's the story. i'm all geared up to leave, wander outside pick some things up, come back inside to get something, and my boss comes down, and is like we have a meeting in a few minutes. and i am just like DAMMIT, because i know i have to stay for it. so we have this meeting, blah blah, suck suck suck. find out that i'm on more project teams, but that isn't really a surprise. then one of my old coworkers shows up to get a book, so everyone is downstairs, and i can't leave. so i am trapped here. i can't just kind of waltz out, because everyone will see. i'm going to try and edge out in a few minutes. but i'm still at work. shoot me in the head, better off dead, FREESTYLA!!!!!!

frivved up by Ben at 4:07 PM

i am so bowing out of here early today, i can't stand it

i really want to just quit my job. i saw a sign that blockbuster video near greenwood is hiring. that would suck even worse though. still.... i wish money was no consequence. i wish i could just be a bum and sit on my ass all day. i really wish this Alerton place in redmond would call me back. i'm going to send them and email on monday i think. i have been trying to think of reasons to keep my job now. all the reasons i could think of are just jackass reasons. like how they let me slack. that is the main reason to stay at this job. i really don't care about native plant restoration. there are times where i feel like i care, and then i just realize it is the good mood i am in out of work brushing off on work. i really don't care. that has become my motto these days. "don't know don't care." i wish i could just make up a shirt that said that, and when someone asked me something, i could just point at my shirt. or maybe i could get a sign and carry it around.

today, i was working with this crew. last time i saw them was at their pseudo orientation thing, like their first day out in the field. we were in charge of breaking them in. there was this one girl who kind of followed me around and tried to strike up all sorts of conversations with me, who i really didn't feel like talking too. i think she has a crush on me. today again, she kept talking to me, and asking stupid questions in what seemed like an attempt to talk to me. there have been a few girls who have done this from these contract labor crews. the thing is, i really have no interest in hanging out with these people outside of work. they aren't the type of people i would like to hang out with, for the most part. they are working at this place because of the cause, not because it is a good job, and definitely not because of the money. they are the people who would take up a different thing to protest about in red square every week. they are all kind of annoying. i dunno, the two girls i find kind of annoying, the one because she kind of hounds me, and the other just because she is really annoying. she is a complete know it all type, pretending to be smart and self taught. well, she is self taught, its just that she hasn't taught herself anything useful yet. like today. we were placing plants. placing plants isn't an exact science, especially the type of placing we were doing today. this area has already been planted, and we were just putting out a bunch of extra plants we had no room for. so she is wandering around, asking all these questions about the plants, and everytime she would come up to me, i would just be like, i don't know, and i don't really care. so she would just stand there talking like she knew the answer, and i didn't know the answer but i knew she was probably wrong, so i just kind of ignored her. she also putting way too much thought into where to put these plants. she was like, i was thinking of putting this one over here, is that ok? because if i did that, then this one could go here, and blah blah blah blah. everytime she did that, i was like, yeah thats great, do it. she was just annoying, she reminded me kind of like that monique person manuel brought over that time, but a little more naive, and a lot less bitter. there is a certain type of people that generally works in the restoration field. this personality type generally clashes with my personality type. it is kind of funny that way. the two guys are pretty cool, at least they don't make me angry in any way. i threw a frisbee around with them for a bit, so at least that was fun.

i was thinking yesterday, about how rediculous some ads and protests and stuff are. like those adds on the busses with the smoking teeth and stuff, looking all nasty. that got me to thinking about people who protest abortion and have pictures of aborted fetuses. how is a picture of an aborted fetus supposed to be an arguement against abortion? sure it is nasty, but beyond that it really doesn't make sense. people don't go around showing pictures of some guy with his chest cut open to protest open heart surgery, do they? and like, i wouldn't show someone a picture of a bloody removed organ to protest against kidney transplants. this is how my thought process went, from seeing those nasty teeth on a bus, to protesting kidney transplants, it was funny.

yesterday, i tried to break my own rule. i was driving home, and i was like HA, i'm going to blog when i get home, i'll show myself, haha!!! thinks he's so smart..... anyways, i get home, all psyched to prove myself wrong, i get into my room, sit down, and then i feel too lazy to open blogger. i'm like, maaaaaah, i'll do it tomorrow. jeez, beaten by myself, once again. i even had stuff to talk about!! i had composed this whole brilliant victory paragraph in my head about the fact that i had blogged at home, instead of work. but then i'm just like, screw that, i'm going to sit here and stare at my blank desktop for a while. i don't even have a desktop. i was cleaning out some folders, and i was too lazy to deselect the file i had as my desktop, so i just deleted it. now i don't have a desktop. its been like this for like a month and a half. i'm too lazy to go find something new. oh well, a black box with icons on it isn't that bad i suppose. still....

gah, i can't take this anymore. i want to go home. i don't have anything to do at home, but at least i will be there. i'm gonna see if i can sneak out here. ha, yes i can, i don't even need to check, and i don't need to sneak even. by sneaking out, i mean walking out, because everyone else works upstairs now. no one ever really comes downstairs anymore, except to leave. oh yeah, another wierd thing, i haven't recieved an email at work in like 2 days. thats nuts. if i manage not to get anymore today, that will lead to the weekend, and it will be like 4 days of nothing, that would be a record.

anyways, adios, wankchachos

frivved up by Ben at 2:55 PM

ok, here is a quick list of things i find absolutely rediculous

1. Everything

that is all.

i mean, think about it. everything is rediculous. things are rediculous. stuff is just crazyness. i am not exactly sure where i am going with this, but rediculocity can be found in anything, if you really think about it. even simple things like the act of breathing, just crazy.... then you think about things that seem good, like tables. why are tables rediculous you ask? my answer is IKEA. IKEA is rediculous. whatever, i don't even know what i am talking about anymore.

today has been pretty stupid. stupid day. yesterday, my coworker was like i have nothing for you to do at the job site tomorrow, so you don't even have to bother showing up if you don't want. so i didn't. i ended up showing up at the office around 11, because i slept in longer than i really wanted too. usually i can sneak in, but there were people actually in my office today. so now they know i was really late, including the person i have to turn my time sheet into. i really wish i could just quit my job and do nothing for a living. that seems like such a great thing. i mean, last week, just beautiful. i loved it. did absolutely nothing. like in college. college was great, because i did NOTHING. i mean, everyonce in a while i would go to a test, but i just seemed out of place and angered, because it was interfering with the important nothing i was supposed to be doing back at my room. i don't know why, but i don't need a driving force behind my life. i am perfectly happy with nothing. most people need something. like matt, always has a girlfriend. bryan, he has his job and smoking cigarettes. me? what do i have? i have my balls to scratch, and that is about it, and usually i am too lazy to move my hands over too them. the only real thing i have to motivate me to do anything is kind of this stylized, morphed fear of rejection thing... it is this intense need for certain people to not be displeased with me. this is the reason i still go to work, because my coworkers would think less of me. it is not that my bosses ACTUALLY care, or are even around that much, it is more fear of my coworkers being upset. of course, i am also afraid of the person who does my checks being upset, but that is for different reasons. i do certain things out of necessity. like getting paid, this is necessary to pay rent. paying rent is necessary. eating, necessary. so i do these things, even though i don't really like doing them. if i had my choice, i wouldn't pay rent becaues it takes so much effort. of course, on the flipside, there are certain people who don't deserve to be pleased with me. there are some people who are just wankers who i want to be displeased with me. these people change all the time. so, when they are displeased with me, i am happy. if there is something that i can do, that will also make them more displeased with me, i will do it. of course, displeased is completely different from downright angry and enraged. i don't like people to be really really mad at me, because they do stupid things like burn down your house, or hit you in the face or call the cops or something.

i hate work. the only thing i like about work is i can blog from work. when i am at work, i feel slightly more motivated than at home, because i always have to be aware of where other people are, and whether they might sneak into my office or not. this keeps me a little more alert, and a little more motivated. so, i do things i normally don't do, like blog. i never blog from home anymore, because i don't have the motivation to actually open the damn thing up and start typing. that is always the hardest part about blogging, actually opening the damn page and beginning. so many times, i load the page even, and i'm like fuck this and i close it. i probably even had something to write, i just didn't want to stop writing. but at work, i can just sit here, and blahblah blahblahbalhb blah.... you get the idea. i wish people wouldn't come into my office, because then my day would be one long blogging session. i always am afraid when i am blogging because this page has this big title that says "In Sluts We Trust" so if people look at it, they are like what the hell are you doing!!!! so i am always on the look out when i have this thing open. if there was no one at all around, i would just be like, bloopblablooo, and there would be 10 pages of writing about random shit like this that would show up every day.

i also wish i didn't leave blogging to be the last thing of the day, because i always cut things off short so i can go home. so much more i wanted to say, but the urge of my house, and my shower, and my own computer where i can do anything i want is singing my name out in a glorious way right now....

frivved up by Ben at 3:27 PM

wee howdy. it has been a loooooong time since i have blogged. several reasons, but the main one is that game i was talking about. i had all last week off, and i pretty much spent all my time playing it. it is great fun..... very addictive though.

back to reality.... work still sucks, but you all knew that already. new years was uneventful, but you all knew that too, because you all missed the same party i missed.

anyways, work. 3 people just quit. we are down to 6 staff right now. that is including me, so it is really like 5 and a half. we have a meeting yesterday, and there are no plans to hire any new staff ever, now. not just no new staff until spring, no new staff ever. it should be pretty funny. it shouldn't effect me too very much, because the 3 people who left were the environmental education team. i've talked about them before, and how they didnt really do that much. well, they didn't do that much, but they did do stuff. education stuff, the stuff i really don't want to do. i mean, i don't like my job as it is, but throw in 30 3rd graders? blaaaaaaah. i seriously hope i don't get put on any of these stupid education teams. already, i have to work this saturday and help lead another freaking work party with a bunch of high school kids. dammit... working saturday is kind of going to suck, but i get monday off. that is cool :D it is almost like a 3 day weekend. well, actually, exactly like a 3 day weekend if you just ignore the 8 hours of work that sneaks in there. so yeah, we are all over worked, more or less. the difference is how people deal with it. our bosses just made us redo all these stupid maitenance plans that were done over the summer. basically, we had to rewrite a bunch of stuff because it wasn't in the format that our bosses wanted, that was the original goal. but then they scrapped that idea, and had us just update the stuff. so, anyways, i reformatted my part, but left all the stuff the same. other people basically redid their entire thing. one of my coworkers just said fuck it, and turned in the exact same thing that they turned in this summer :D i thought that was pretty funny.

other news in work (this is mostly gossip for ryan). there was a kind of impromptu meeting thing about the future of the foundation. this summer, our boss/president/founder resigned for about a week. what happened is this (i think i have told this story about 20 times). an efficiency expert type person was hired to figure out why the foundation sucked so much. the efficiency expert said it was my bosses fault. she wasn't pleased. she resigned, and said she was going to find a director, and a board for the foundation. if she didn't find one by november, she would shut down the foundation. 2 weeks later, she was back. come november, nothing happens. now, she has pushed that deadline back to june, basically because she hasn't done a damn thing. we still don't have a director, and 0, count them 0 potential board members. so we have this meeting. basically, she tells us the deadline is june 30th or something, and if she doesn't have anyone by then, she'll shut down the foundation. of course, she says she is going to honor her prior commitments, which will take about 4 more years after that. so yeah, my job isn't going anywhere, especially since they aren't hiring anyone. i could see the faces of everyone drop when she said she would be around acting as director until june. who knows who will leave next :) i have my bet placed in my head, we'll see how it pans out.

i haven't heard back from the alerton place yet. my dad said the guy talked to him, and that he had talked to the head of production, and they are still on the "seats opening in the next two weeks" drill. i don't have my hopes up anymore. i'll send in an email saying i am still interested in a few days, maybe. right now, it is looking like starflower all the way!

what else, that is about it for boring work. actually its not, but thats all i really want to talk about it now. on to new years. new years was fairly anticlimactic, after the party at airs got cancelled. i went over to blake and jays house and hung out with belligerent high school friends. i don't know why we were so belligerent. anyways, a few of us got over there, and blake and anna had just gotten back from the opera. we were waiting for allison and eric to show up. so, they do show up, then allison makes eric drive her home. we are like, ok, whatever, guess she doesn't like us or something. it turns out, eric had just broken up with her, hahahaha. so, yeah. that was the last of the high school relationships to die. except, anna ended up spending the night in blakes room with him. they so aren't broken up. they are still dating, just saying they "kind of aren't dating and stuff". you know the drill. it is actually kind of funny :D i really wish i could have gone up to bham to chill with ryan for new years. his new years sounded pretty much exactly how i wanted my new years to be. what a great binge that was, from the blog he wrote about it, shit. oh well, what you gonna do. i don't live in bellingham :P sometimes i wish i had gone to western instead of uw.

stupid old lady next door. they have been doing construction or something right in front of our house the past day. so basically, my parking spot in front of the house was in a no parking zone for 3 days. except, they didn't actually do anything, just put up the signs, and never actually constructed anything. so basically, when i got home for lunch, i parked right behind our next door neighbor on the street in front of their house. it worked well, i was just out of the zone, and both our cars fit. when i get home from work after going back for the afternoon, the car was moved, so it was too close to the no parking zone to park behind it, and to close to the drive way to park in front of it without blocking the driveway. that was a low blow :P so today, i got home for lunch, and there was no one parked in front of their house. so i took up one of the "spots" because there is still a no parking zone in front of our house. there was room for another car there, not that one showed up to park there or anything. anyways, after lunch, i go out to get in my car, and she is standing there, glaring at my car, turning, glaring at our house, turning, glaring at my car. who knows how long she has been out there doing this. so, i walk to my car, she glares at me. i glare back at her, so she scurrys into the garage. jeezus, what a petty old bitch. you know, old people aren't ALL bad, but too many are like her. it is old people like her that make me dislike old people as a whole, because they are so freaking retarded. i bet when i get back, she will have pulled her car out of the garage and blocked off the front of her house again. i should ram it. whatever. just gives me one more reason to want to resign the lease next september, just to piss her off.

oh yeah, mel finally picked up her damn space heater with her boyfriend, and wasn't too please with its condition. talk about awkward. i was just like, i dunno what happened, i don't really care. so i just sat there and watched tv... i hope she isn't mad at me or anything, and i hope her boyfriend doesn't think i'm a freak for just sitting there silent while he stood there, and she went and snagged her lamp from downstairs. not that it really matters that much, but me and german ben were the only people home, and like i said, it was a don't know don't care situation. we just kind of sat there, and put our blankest looks on our faces to avoid any unpleasantness. at least that is done now. i just realized, i still don't have a key to the house, hahaha :)

so, i got to thinkin the other day. i dunno if this is really a saying from a movie or what not, but this saying came into my head uninvited "i like my women like i like my drugs". when it popped in, it seemed famous, and like i had heard it before. so, kind of funny, for me that means i like my relationships to be expensive, hard to find, and to last about 8 hours :D sounds a fairly accurate description.

speaking of girls, i had just gotten out of daoc (dark age of camelot, that game i am now addicted too) and out of the blue ali messages me on messenger. i'm just like, ok, that was crazy. so, most of the conversation was about this picture of me and her from the halloween party she had somehow gotten her hands on, and about how cute we were, and how good we looked together. pretty funny. she went on to talk about how she showed it to my mom, and she was like woah, who is that guy! i found the conversation humorous. turns out she is still going to UW, but still living in renton. she commutes every day. that has to blow dogs for quarters. i thought she had her liscense suspended until she was 21, but i guess it was 20. when she was 15 she stole her sisters friends car and went joyriding and crashed it or something, so i guess she got 5 years without a liscense... she gave me her new number, i'm tempted to call her, but i don't trust myself to not make the same mistake twice. i don't have ryans tolerance to keep sticking with it and getting fucked and sticking with it until it works out for like a year, only to get fucked again in the end. it would probably be worth it, ryan was pretty damn happy when it was actually working out, but i don't think i could handle it. also, i generally suck, so yeah.

i wish i was a pokemon, those pokeballs look pretty cozy. then i would have like entrance music and stuff, and i would get to pose and get a cool camera shot when i came out. and also, i would get like this cool spiralling camera shot of me facing down some other pokemon, breathing really hard, looking all tough. i just want it so i can have cool music and slow motion whenever i do anything. plus, the names wankmander, wankachu, and pokewank are just kind of funny :) pokemon have it made

frivved up by Ben at 3:30 PM

i went to high school with this girl. she is on playboy now. in fact, i almost got paid $150 to go to prom with her. she was going with someone else already otherwise this would be a much better story than it is now. in any case, she knows my name... that is pretty excitign.....

frivved up by Ben at 1:45 AM