bear with me...

this will be the quintessential WAnkblog. it is going to be as complete a self reflection as i can bear. don't read it if you don't want too. i just need to get some stuff out, for my own purposes. it will probably be interesting enough. at least, i know i am intruiged when i read what other people have to think about themselves. anyways...

Who am I. What defines me. what about myself do i like and dislike, both on a physical and emotional level. what made me who i am. what are some of the defining moments in my life. what would i like myself to be.

physically, i wouldn't call myself attractive, but i wouldn't say i am unbearable. there are certainly things i could improve upon, if i felt like it. i am not happy with the way i look, but then again no one is. i lack the motivation to do anything about it. i am not unhappy enough to actually take the time out to do stuff. i tolerate myself :)

i am extremely skinny. this is the number one thing i would change. i lack any fat or muscle. i am 6'4, 150 lbs. you can see my ribs. my joints have bones sticking out. it isn't from lack of eating, it is from an overactive metabolism. this is why i don't do anything about it. i could work out, but working out won't work. my body just eats up too much. in a few short years, my metabolism will slow down, and i can start looking normal, but until then i am fucked.

i am skinny, but i am not weak. i am fairly strong when i actually put my mind to it. i can run fast, and i am agile. i lack any endurance, but in a sprint i am a speedy little bastard. i always have been. again, i could work on this, but i am wayyyyy to lazy. this will become a theme, lack of motivation.... i have a decent tolerance to alcohol and drugs, but not a huge tolerance. it is just enough that i can't get myself really really sick. it is also just enough, that i get a pleasant fucked no matter what i do. it is pretty cool, actually.

so yeah, my physique is just horrible. there really isn't anything positive about it. any muscle i do have just looks funny because there is way too little of it. i guess my stomach is ok, because it is flat. my knees and elbows stick way out. my left knee is fucked up right now. i really should see a doctor. my whole knee cap is swollen. it is like, instead of a knee cap, there is just this liquid stuff. it doesn't hurt, and it doesn't impare my ability to use it, so i just ignore it. whatever, i will get it looked at eventually.

my face is rather uneven, mostly due to the guantly sickly look it has. my eyes and cheeks are sunk. my jawbones stick out. my neck is slender. but, with all this, my ears stick out, i have huge eyes with huge eyebrows that grow together and LONG eyelashes. my nose is borderline gigantic, and i have big lips. i think it makes me look kind of funny. somehow it kind of works. i wish my nose wasn't the huge potatoey lump it is, but i deal.

the saving grace to my face is my eyes. they change color depending on what i am wearing. they go from a light grey, to a dark blue, to what they are most of the time, a deep green. my eyes rock. people tend to get lost in them, if they actually look into them, which has always freaked me out a little bit, especially if i don't expect it. that is more of an emotional problem, and i will get to it ;) anyways, i must say my eyes are probably my most attractive feature, with the combination of the cool color, their size, and the long eyelashes. the only problem is, one of them is a little lower than the other. this kind of throws off my whole face. one of my ears is also lower than the other one. it really fucks shit up when i get a haircut. if you ever look at me, and think that something is slightly askew, it is because it is. my face is slanted. you have to look to actually notice, but i have had plenty of time to look, and believe me i have noticed :P

my hair is decent enough. from a physical standpoint, it is thick, shiny, and pretty damn nice. from a presentation standpoint, i could really care less. i like the way it looks most of the time. i don't like when it gets really long, because it poofs out. i don't like it really short, because i look like a chemo patient. in between, i really like the natural disheveled look it gets. i never do anything to my hair. i take a shower, and leave it, and what you see is what it does naturally. good stuff, i suppose, except a lot of times it kind of slants off in one direction or another. and, my hair is usually way too long, because i am too lazy to go get my hair cut. oh well, whatever. hair is hair

the clothes i wear, i could give a shit about, more or less. white t-shirt, baggy jeans. white t-shirt, baggy cargo pants. thats about it. always a tshirt. i have a few other tshirts i wear, but it is always with jeans or cargoes. i never wear shorts, because it is obvious how skinny my legs are. with baggy jeans, you can kind of tell, but you are constantly second guessing yourself. could his legs really be that skinny? nah, it is just my imagination. so yeah, i don't care about my wardrobe. too much money to waste.

when i walk somewhere, i usually just kind of phase out and go from point a to point b. it makes me look pretty funny i guess, but it gets me there. if i try to concentrate on something else, i will either get distracted and wander off, or i will trip myself or something. so, i just go, without looking or noticing, or anything. so yeah, my eyes are pretty much constantly looking down. that is part of the reason why. when i go to class, i try to sit alone, in the back corner, away from everything, and everyone. it helps me, when i am actually there. i don't like worrying about everyone else around me. i like to be alone, and i like to be near the door so i can get out fast.

i don't like talking to profs. i don't like talking to authority figures i don't know very well. hell, i don't like talking to people i don't really know very well period. it is kind of a catch 22, i know, but it is the truth. so yeah, i never go to office hours, i never ask for help, or raise my hand when i know the answer. i am there to learn, not talk. i feel uncomfortable when i am put on the spot in class. i usually know the answer, but i constantly second guess myself in case i don't know. i don't want to look stupid. so most of the time, i will just go i don't know to get out of it, if i can, even when i know the answer. kind of wierd.

i basically hate school. i don't see the point in it. this education is so damn important for some reason, but i haven't learned anything that will be actually useful in the past 4 years of school. now that i am in college, i am wasting all this money taking stupid classes i have no interest in, but are required for graduation. a load of bs, if you ask me. fuck school, fuck everything. fuck looking for a real career. screw it all, just let me lay around all day. that is the life.

my thought process is a little skewed. i notice things other people don't, and i miss a lot of things that are really obvious. i think i have some real mental problems, but they make me who i am. my parents have been trying to get me to go see a psychiatrist for a while now actually, but i don't want too. mostly, it is because i get these fairly severe bouts of depression. also, i actually think i am borderline schitzophrenic. i actually can have conversations with myself, in my head. i have memories of things, but it doesn't seem like i did them. i tell stories about other people, then realize later that it was actually me who had done that. people tell me stories about things i have done that i have no recollection of. sometimes, i watch myself do things and feel that i have no control over what is going on. i never really thought about it until i started blogging, but i think that these behaviors, at least on a regular basis are not normal. they definitely make life more interesting though. i can entertain myself rather easily. i don't know about everyone else, but i constantly have at least 3 or 4 trains of thought. i have the normal one, that is one layer below speaking. then i have one below that, that is thinking about what i am going to "say", and then commenting on it, while i am "talking" in my brain. then i have another one that is kind of controlling them both, if that makes any sense. then i have the last one, that is controlling my movements, and what i look at, and what the rest of my body is doing, and thinking about why i should be moving, and kind of interacting with the other ones to realize why i should be moving.

anyways, i can think back and realize how these things developed. the summer between 2nd and 3rd grade, i moved down here from alaska. i left all my friends, which was really tough. the first friend i had in washington turned out to be one of the most destructive relationships of my life. i hated the guy, but my mom made me hang out with him. everyone hated him, but he was my only friend. this made me an outcast right off the bat. it sucked, because things would have been awesome if had never met him. but i did, and it scarred me for life. i thought everyone hated me, which turned out to not be the case. but i thought everyone did. as a 3rd grader, thinking everyone hated me, i was very insecure, and very sensitive to what other people said and did. i turned into a weak little kid, who was constantly walked over, and constantly wondering what i was doing wrong. needless to say, this was a tough period, and extended until i was about 9th grade. i basically holed myself up between 3rd and 6th grade. between those times, i can count the number of friends i had on one hand. i didn't want to hang out with people, because they all hated me and would make fun of me, at least was my reasoning. so yeah, needless to say, i started junior high with little social skills, and under the impression that i was supposed to hate girls. which sucked, because girls were hot. so i was torn there, and finally just avoided girls because i was confused. anyways, junior high BLEW for me. my dad quit his job, and started a new business around here, so we had no money, which basically put a depressing pallor over our family. i regressed more, and in 8th grade pretty much hit rock bottom. i had no friends, nothing to do, all alone... it was hard. i tried to commit suicide a few times, but it never actually worked. i never actually could get myself to fall out of the window, after i already had my legs out, i could never actually cut my wrist deep enough to actually do damage. i still have a scar on my left wrist from where i slashed it in 8th grade. i tell people it was a boy scouts accident if they ever ask. after i got my dads hunting rifle out one day, but couldn't figure out how to work it, i decided i was in trouble, so i stopped trying to kill myself. i started ignoring school, which was kind of nice, except my drama class i was taking. also, i think this is the point where i finally realized that religion was not for me. it is hard to pinpoint that moment, but it was right around here. drama actually probably saved me, as wierd as it may seem. but whatever. drama in 8th grade. i made some friends, actually hung out with them and stuff. started talking to people again, talking to girls and such. 9th grade, i made some more friends, started having girls notice me, but had no idea what to do about it. had 1 or 2 failed romances, because i had no idea what to do. but it was a big step...... end of 9th grade, i was a much happier person. i actually had friends from 2 different cliques if you will, wasn't just that guy anymore. i wasn't the loner kid who never talked to anyone, who walked around with his head down. people actually knew my name. this was wierd. anyways, it lead to high school. so yeah, i get to high school, fairly happy. i had good friends, and i didn't really care what everyone else felt anymore. in high school, i didn't really have any girlfriends, mostly because i realized what a bad spot i was in when it came to dealing with females. i made a lot of really good female friends, but never actually had the balls to take it further. of course this just compounded matters, made things worse, but oh well. i could talk to girls now, and if they were my friends, flirt with them, but never go hit on someone i didn't know. damn, if i could do 10th grade over again. i just look back, and realize that these girls were really into me. like, there was this girl in my drivers ed class. she was in 11th grade, actually. she managed to work her way in line, so she would be in my car for the driving portion. in anycase, things were going pretty well, she was flirting mercilessly, and i didn't really realize what was going on (STUPID STUPID ME). anyways, it is drama festival time. i am assistant director for this play. i end up casting her for a role in the play, because i think she is my friend. she takes this as a sign of affection, and thinks i am playing hard to get. this point, i realize she might actually like me (my powers of the obvious were second to none), and wonder what i should do about it. anyways, she kind of blew it. she had this boyfriend, and she ended up dumping him, and she told me it was because he always wanted to kiss her and have sex and stuff, but it was really so she could get with me. she meant this as she didn't want to do this with him, but i took this as she didn't want to do shit with anyone, and especially me because she told me. i don't know why i thought this but i did. oh yeah, there was this other guy in the play, who would hit on this other girl all the time. he had it in his mind that he wanted both his chick, and my chick, so he would always give me this bad advice, that i would take, of course, that would kind of turn things backwards. oh man, i could have had anything and everything i ever dreamed of with this girl. looking back, she sooooooo wanted me. oh man, if only i could go back right now....... so yeah, 10th grade made me realize that girls rocked, and so i ended up having a lot of little flirty things with girls that never actually turned into anything. so i ended up with a lot of good female friends, or girls who hated me because they thought i was a tease in high school. 11th and 12th grade rocked. i had really good friends, and we didn't care in the least what anyone else thought of us. by 12th grade, we owned the school. it was pretty cool. 12th grade gave me self confidence that i had never had before, which led to college.

college, oh by college. i still haven't really had any relationships, but then again i haven't been looking for any. it just isn't important to me. perhaps it should be. when i was with ali, i was pretty damn happy. it felt good. i had no idea what to do, but i didn't really care. anyways, i don't know. i am not going to actively look for a girlfriend i have decided, but i am going to take a more proactive approach to talking to girls and stuff. this will be tough, and will probably take a while for me to get the balls to actually figure out, but it will be fun. a new challege if you will. something new for me to fuck around with.

i enjoy screwing off, and fucking around with things. look at some of the stuff i have done in the past year or so that i have found really funny, or some of the stuff i plan on doing. going raving, and actually turning down e-tards who want to make out with me. giving 3 14 year olds a ride home from a rave. wandering around in downtown kirkland at 5 in the morning, almost getting arrested. running around whistler villiage on shrooms. jumping off our second story balcony only in my underwear into a pile of snow. stealing 200 some traffic cones. wanting to join a youth group, just to see if i can convince everyone that i am a reformed christian.

thanks for reminding me. church has played a big role in my life. i went to chuch at first presbyterian church in bellevue. this is right near clyde hill and medina and all those rich ass swank neighborhoods. we were never rich, so i felt out of place. you would not believe how stuck up and snooty these people were. they didn't know me, so they wouldn't talk to me. literally, i would try to talk to people, and they would just scoff and turn around. i didn't wear clothes as nice as theirs, so they would actually make fun of me for it. the sunday school teachers did nothing. it was pretty angering. i actually almost punched a kid one time, because he stole my bike. we would play games, and i would always get picked last, even after all the girls. then, they would never throw me the football, or frisbee or anything, even though when i got it i was better than all of them. my team would usually win, because i would steal the football from the opposing team, or from my own teamates. i would run down impossible frisbees, then throw a perfect throw to the end zone. fuck them. i owned them, they knew it. pissed them off more.anyways, i hated sunday school. i have an inquisitive mind, so i would always ask questions about things that didn't make sense to me. this pissed the hell out of my sunday school teachers, because they didn't have an answer. this got me questioning religion as a whole at a young age. which, in my mind was a good thing. i watched my peers being spoon fed all this stuff that made no sense to me made me mad, and really makes me mad now. they didn't have the chance to formulate their own beliefs. i realized what was going on soon enough, so i got out when i could. i think it was 10th grade i actally told my parents. this destroyed my mom, and made my dad pretty mad at me. i was on their bad side for a long time because of it. my dad has accepted it, and actually understands my reasoning behind it now. he respects me, because i made my own decision, and stuck with it, especially because it is something i believe so strongly in. my mom still doesn't understand. she thinks it is just a phase i am going through. it was really annoying, because after i told her, she went and called all her friends, and told them about what a bad kid i was. my parents made me go to church with them still, which wasn't that bad, i didn't really care, and made me go talk to the pastor and shit. which i did, which SUCKED BALLS. the pastors at my church are dicks. i am offended when i go watch their sermons, because they denounce everything i believe, with no reasoning behind it. they just say, atheism is evil. just look in the bible, and everyone nods and grunts in agreement. so talking to this pastor, he wouldn't concede anything during our conversation. really pissed me off, finally i got mad and walked out of the room, got in the car, and refused to get out until we were home. fuck it. fuck religion. it makes me mad now. don't get me wrong, i have nothing against christans as a whole. i am not going to knock you for what you believe. i have put up with too much of that shit. but i will knock people who knock me for what i believe blindly. people who try to convert me just piss me off. people who fail to realize that it is ok for people not to be christian piss me off. people who don't give me a chance just because i am not christian piss me off.

i wish i was in shape. i wish i had a girlfriend. hell, i wish i had more skills with the opposite sex period. i wish i was more motivated in school. i wish people would judge me without getting to know me. i wish i was less judgemental.

this blog was self reflection. it is no way complete, it is just where my thoughts took me over the last 3 days. i will probably continue it in the next few days as well.........

frivved up by Ben at 7:19 PM

alright, sorry... so yeah, i had this huge blog planned out for yesterday. this whole self reflection thing. it was huge. so i didn't post it.

anyways, it is story time. ryan and i went back to redmond last night to pick up his car and pillage his house. so, we eat, gorge ourselves on homemade leftover food. glorious. so yeah, evan (ryans brother) and his friends were around. evan has just started booting up, so he has been doing it alot. he was stoned the entire time we were there. but anyways, we are upstairs, and he left for a bit with one of his friends. an hour or 2 later, his friend came running upstairs, and was like "oh my god, evan's dad just found his bag of pot" so, needless today, ryan and i can't contain the laughter, and evan's friends get all paranoid. what if he calls our moms? what is going to happen? we are going to die!!! blah blah. realllllllly funny. so yeah, evan got caught pulling his sack out of his pocket. so long story short, evan is a moron, we laughed at him. his dad told him to get rid of it. so me and ryan straight jacked it. anyways, we went to the store to get some zigzags, and the stupid people at safeway wouldn't help us. so finally ryan got pissed, and just walked behind the counter and grabbed some. they started yelling at us, and we are like whatever, bitches. so she is like, ohnamonamo, i will walk this up for you. and the other checker is like oh oh oh to the manager, this is for those two guys, the ones who aren't 18 anyways. anyways, i am just like fuck off to her, and the manager appolgizes, because he has been watching the whole thing. so he grabs our papers, opens a register, rolls his eyes at the two bitches who are giving us a hard time and rings us up and sends us on our way. hilarious. he knew what was up, he was cool. the two checkers made all this fuss for $1.29, and we were going to pay for it. some people can be such bitches.

anyways, so we went back, and we smoked evans stash.... all of it. there wasn't that much, but the fact that we stole evans stash and smoked it all is funny. i have never been that booted before. god, it was hilarious. i was sooooooooo paranoid. i was afraid to go get chips from the kitchen. then i did, and trav was there, and i was like oh no help! and i ran back to my room, the whole time he is standing there laughing at me. anyways, it was pretty funny. i went back into my room and tried to use my computer, but ended up just sitting there spinning my mouse cursor in circles and watching it amazed. i watched tv, which was pretty entertaining, and then went to sleep. it rocked.

peace out till later

oh yeah, thanks for voting in the polls :) they were both exactly what i expected them to be ;) most of you don't care about the different wanks, and the ones who do liked the happy one. no one wants to roll with me, as was already apparent, lol. i will put some more polls up when i figure out what to ask....

frivved up by Ben at 2:34 PM

ugh, why am i always exhausted. i never sleep enough. fuck it all

frivved up by Ben at 10:17 PM

blizzzzzog.

here i am. i have been home from work for about 9 hours today. we never do anything at work. the leave us out in the field alone, and expect us to continue weeding. when we don't, they don't care. it is insanity. we do about 2 or 3 hours of real work a day, on average, and get paid for 8. it is sheer and utter total fucking insanity!!!!!! i don't know how we keep our jobs, but we do. i love my job. it is the greatest.

anyways, on to the real subject matter of the day. i have some weird phobias. as if i wasn't weird enough, the things i am scared of are weird. i have some normal ones, like spiders and closed spaces and such. i realize, i am pretty damn claustrophobic. i thought i wasn't, but i really am. anyways, one of the things i am the most afraid of is someone being around while i am in the bathroom. it is crazy. even if it is in my house, if i hear people walking around the door or something, it just screws everything up. it makes public restrooms entirely out of the question. i think this is half the reason i failed out of college, because i would stay up until 5 in the morning when i knew no one would be in there to bug me. needless to say, i have an insane bladder now. i never used the bathroom in high school, except to change costumes for a play. i used the bathroom once in junior high, at midnight, when i was the last one in the school setting up for a play. this was 9th grade. even my drama teacher had left, and i was still in there tweaking my sound board so everything would sound alright the next day, which happened to be the dress rehearsal. i have never used a bathroom at work, either at the office or a job site. this goes back to REI, hollywood video, and my two cabinet worker jobs back in the day. i have been into the bathroom at REI twice, and the bathroom at office twice. REI, both times were because i cut myself on a knife on the display case. both times here were to put a sticky note on the mirror. anyways, i used to go through whole summer camps at boy scouts without going into the bathrooms. i realize this is really weird, and i don't know where this fear comes from, but yeah. i sit here at work, and watch people walk off to the bathroom, and realize i have never been the one to say hey, i am going to the bathroom, and wander off. crazyness. why do you care? you don't. but you read this anyways

And, i'm out......

frivved up by Ben at 9:31 PM

i still say everyone experience it my way, even if it is just once. this is the time we have to destroy our bodies and illegal and rebellious things with little or no consequences. at least that is what i see this period of my life as. drugs, alcohol, petty theft, general hooliganism, all part of the fun. i get caught, i get a stern talking to from some authority. that is about the worst that will happen.

i don't know, drugs are bad, blah blah, but they can be entertaining. its just like alcohol. the fact that some are illegal make some of them worse, or something. repeated use drills holes in your brain sure. excessive repeated use. excessive repeated alcohol drills holes in your liver. excessive repeated cigarettes drill holes in your lungs. but still, we drink and smoke :P all these organs are vital, but i am not going to screw them up enough to make a lasting difference on my life. life for me is about experiencing as much as possible. i don't want to look back in 3 years and say, wow, i never did that, and now i will never be able too because it is inappropriate. its like, i was talking to ryan a few days ago about what we would do if an opportunity presented itself. i think there are a lot of things i would do, that under normal circumstances i would say "i would never do that" because i had never had the opportunity too. but, lets say, someone i trusted came up to me at a party or something and said hey, take a hit of this, i don't know that i would turn them down. honestly, i don't know.

anyways, not everyone shares my philosophy. i am just saying everyone should go roll at a rave some time. drugs are a huge part of raves. anyone who tells you otherwise is a moron. sure, you can go to raves without being on drugs, but not many people actually do. pretty much everyone is on something, and if they aren't, they are drunk or stoned. it is all a part of it. everyone should roll at their first rave, in my opinion. it will make it all that much more fantastic and over the top. raves are crazy anyways, but for me to go to my first rave, and then to roll at it, was just insanity. i had so much damn fun, it was like sensory and experience overload. i go to raves sober, and i have a hellzah fucking good time. but i go to raves under the influence of something, even if i am just drunk, and it adds a whole new element. a lot of people would not enjoy their first rave if they weren't rolling. it can be a little overwhelming, especially if you aren't so hardcore into techno like a few of us are. i think most people i know would just kind of be standing around, not knowing what to think of the insanity that is going on around them. it would be too much for them, and they wouldn't like it. but everyone has a good time if they are rolling. that is just a part of the drug. you will be happy, and you will enjoy anything that is going on around you. it is a way to break yourself into raves, so you don't just psych yourself out to begin with, because it is soooooo far from anything you have ever experienced.

so yeah, i am warped. yeah, i have experiemented with things some of you never thought you would. hell, i never thought i would. i was absolutely clean cut in 9th and 10th grade. no hooliganism, no nothing. i didn't even really think about drinking until i got to college. it took until halloween for me to actually drink. i almost smoked out once in high school, but it took until this last school year to actually toke up. when i was growing up, i was never going to do anything bad, because at that point it just didn't make any sense. DARE had done its job, and told me i would DIE if i did anything bad. still i was curious, just scared. so yeah, drinking didn't kill me, which got me thinking, and trying stuff. i am glad i did. it doesn't make sense to me that people don't experiement a little when they are in college. whatever, everyone has their own thing going on. i may not understand why someone else does something, but i am not going to knock them for it unless they attack me. i will just think about it, so i can further understand what i believe.

BLEYOTCH! crazyness. i have been having so much fun chilling with my roomates the past week or so. every where we go, it is just a good time. we don't have to be doing anything, but still we have fun. at least i do. i am glad i moved in with these punks. we just need trav coming along more, instead of having to work all the time :( i say we get drunk with trav tomorrow. have a trav party, and rent chicken porn and stuff. i feel kind of bad, because he isn't around, and i leave with someone, and then i come back and he is here, but we are done with the crazyness. then i read his blog later, and i am like, ahh man, that sucks. i guess a lot of it is the fact that he and i have completely opposite work schedules. he works like 3-11 and shit, and i work 8-4. i try to go to sleep around midnight (but usually fail), which gives us about a half hour after his drive home. then, i sit in my room on my computer :P weekends are good, we need to get super sloppy this weekend, i can feel it. i am talking straight 40 action.

speaking of 40's, steel reserve is the greatest shit on earth. it actually tastes decent, for a 40 in my opinion. i was highly impressed.

blah, my wrists hurt, i need to wrap this up. CD of the day is out, i don't want to do it anymore. i would just start repeating myself, if i haven't already. i had a pretty good run there. i only missed a few days in all that time. i only listen to so many cds though, and i was limiting all that to cds i have, in full, on my computer. i have a lot, i know, but a lot of them are techno, and very similar to eachother. so yeah, if i find a cd i like, i'll put it up, just because.

peace out, for tonight, i need to sleep, since i didn't really last night.

shit, i forgot to eat

frivved up by Ben at 11:38 PM

snoop bloggy blogg....

so yeah, i went to the magic dragon a few weeks ago, some of you will probably get a kick out of that :)

my job rules.... fucking rad. today, we show up an hour late, and leave early. back at the office, we had a potluck that took up our entire afternoon. free food, and all we had to do was bring a watermelon, most of which we still have. so we did about 3 hours of actual "work" if you can call it that. detail weeding in a showcase bed, not too taxing.

i ordered area 1 tickets today, should be big pimpin. i want to see paul oakenfold, he better play some huge epic trance anthems for my amusement, or some of his trancey d&b stuff like his global undergrounds. hell yeah. gooooooood stuff. everyone is going right? if you aren't, screw you ;) actually, i understand if you aren't. $72 freaking dollars!!!!!!! that is insanity. a good time will be had, i am seriously considering endfest the next day, just for shits :D

blogging rules, i don't know why everyone else doesn't do it every day like i try too. it really helps me out, you know?

frivved up by Ben at 4:03 PM

so yeah, i just got back from a rave. raves are great, they just plain rock. raves are an experience.

anyways, i think everyone should experience a rave at least once in there life. this means, in the next few years, because you look silly when you are 30 and show up to a rave. so yeah, basically, everyone should go to a rave at least once. and when i say go to a rave, i mean go all out. drugs, dancing, walking out when the sun is up, ravin... i think everyone should go to a rave, and experience it to its fullest potential. yes, this might involve some recreational drugs, but it makes for an extremely enjoyable time. raves are just great. you go, pretty much everyone (including yourself) is on drugs of some sort. there are just young attractive people everywhere, all off their asses. if you want to dance with someone, all you have to do is stand next to them, and they will dance with you. if you want to make out with someone, all you have to do is dance with them for about 2 minutes, and they will be all over you. raving is good, mostly because it is outside what we call reality. basically, for a night (and morning if you get really lucky) you can do anything you want with no consequences. raves don't count in the real world. what happens at a rave doesn't matter come monday morning. you do what you want, with whoever you want, and it is ok. this is what makes raves so great. you get an 8 hour period where you can do anything you want, and then after the 8 hours is up, you go home, go to sleep, wake up, and continue on with your life. what happened the night before doesn't matter, it doesn't have any bearing on your "real life."

so yeah, basically, i think we should all go to a rave together, and all get proper fucked together. bomb down to west seattle with like 5 cars full of people, and several shoes full of pills. wander in, and let things progress and see what happens over the 8 hour period. dance a lot, enjoy your high, etc. etc. basically, i think this would rock. i know everyone would enjoy it.

frivved up by Ben at 6:37 AM

alring, it si like 5 i nthe morning. i have vbune up for a hwie drinkikng. i am happy, you are happppy, everon is happy!!! so yeah, i need to sleep. i spent 8 hours in the movien thearthers and then came home and dranks a bnuch. i swa moulin rouge first, then boob raider, then shreck, the swordfish, all in the same little period. we also saw the preview for atlantis, but we had to leave to go see swowrd fish. we should be going toanthother theratehr in a week or so to see new movies. thise whole quad dip thing ruled. 5 dollars of fun for a whole night of entertainmgemtn. good stuff. anuywaks. i am pretyt drunk now, we had beer and such around here, so i drank all i could find, nowe i tis all over . see you all tomororw. pleast omesone tell me we are getting HELLYA drunk tomorrow. i need really drunk. we should get skanks over. speankon of which, i need to find a youcht grouop to go to............

frivved up by Ben at 5:06 AM

fucking QUAD DIP beyotches!!! this was a proper quad dip, we paid for 1 movie, and hung around for 3 more. 8 hours straight of movie goodness. oh yeah, it will happen again. this is going to become a common occurance. well, gotta go drink, see you fuckers tomorrow hopefully :) i want to be good and sloppy drunk all damn weekend

frivved up by Ben at 1:05 AM

well, you guys all know how much i enjoy fucking with things i think are annoying or stupid. well, we had this great idea today. we are going to start going to a church youth group, i think. now how funny will this be. i am a fairly militant atheist, but i enjoy fucking with people, especially youth group type people. here is our thinking. there are a lot of hot chicks at youth group. we are good at bullshitting. it would be hilarious to convince a bunch of super christians that we are going through a tough time, and that god is saving us. imagine the sympathy we could get as we explain our escape from drug addiction, abusive households, blatant satan worshipping, and an over all unchristian lifestyle. but here i am, now my life is great, and i am so glad i had (insert hot chicks name) to help me deal with my inner demons. this is the part where i look into her eyes, and say with the power of god inside me, i am a truely better person, and you played a big role in helping me find the truth. you have turned around my life. i don't think there is any way i could ever thank you. without you, i would be nothing. and then she is overwhelmed with pride, sympathy, embarassment, and compassion. who knows what happens now. i don't know. i am good at this sort of stuff. i spent about 2 years convincing everyone i knew that i still was a good christian at heart. fuck, i even went through confirmation as an atheist. add that to my new found ability to cry on command, and convince people how screwed up my life is.... it almost kept me in college that. can you believe i actually cried when i explained to the UW councillor about my drug addictions, and the insane time i had overcoming them? oh man, that was my greatest performance ever. *NOTE* i have never had a drug addiction, and i have never had to overcome one. i made that up so i could try to stay in school. so yeah, this could be fun. at least it will be good skank watching.

CD of the day is some shit or another, give me a sec....... Bloodhound Gang - Hooray for Boobies. greatest album title ever, and it has one of the greatest songs ever on it. booyah, good stuff

did anyone mention that we stole a kegorator from a junior high school today?

frivved up by Ben at 11:56 PM

blog :P

so this is what i have been reduced too. i keep going back over that fucking blog from yesterday and yelling at myself. what a bitter asshole i have become. fuck me. the one good thing to happen to me in the past 6 months, and i turn it all around as a way to feel sorry for myself. what the fuck. i am an asshole. fucking read that shit!! good lord, i was happy about what i did. that is just bad. bah. fucking eh. i have no reason to be bitter. i have no reason to be mean to ali. i have no reason to not be trying to get her back. my one relationship (no matter how bs it was) in the past year and a half, and i fucked it all up. now i have all these chances to rectify the situation, but i use that time to be a jerk off. what the hell. why did i do that? what the hell kind of crack am i smoking. why am i not trying to get her back or anything. why am i just sitting here bitching about it.

I think i need to change again. I put a pull up, answer it if you want. i have been thinking about myself. ever since college, i have never gone out of my way to find a relationship. in fact, i pretty much avoid them. i don't see parties as a way to hook up and score. any flirting i do is friendly, not meant to woo people to me. i don't look at girls as potential girlfriends. i am thinking maybe i should. i was completely different when i had a girlfriend. i don't know which me i liked better. maybe i should have a girlfriend. maybe i should be looking for one, instead of avoiding it. who knows, maybe i am destined to be the dumbass single guy who is always hanging around doing funny things. bah. i don't know.

now that i am driving her away, i miss ali...... why do i have to be mad at her.

CD of the day is No Doubt - Return of Saturn or whatever it is called. there are some pimp songs on there. i really like new.

frivved up by Ben at 12:33 PM

FUCK YOU BLOGGER

anyways, i had this HUGE post written out, i mean a monster post. and it got fucking deleted. god dammit. i'm going to write it all out again, but shit, it pisses me off :) here is a condensed version, that will still probably turn out huge.

so yeah, party was pretty sweet. i had fun at least. ali showed up, i thought that was pretty funny. it isn't really that surprising that she showed up, because we inivited her, but funny to me nonetheless. i haven't talked about ali in a pretty long time :) i look back at that whole thing and laugh now. how easily our judgement becomes clouded, lol :) i mean seriously, go look at my archives, i was on crack haha. what a whirlwind thing that was. pretty funny now, and something i needed. a nice ego boost, but wasn't really healthy ;)

so anyways, enter the party. friday night, straight chillin. i am a vindictive bastard, lol. i was making valid attempts to piss ali off. all the while, i was trying to keep it subtle so she wouldn't notice i was trying to piss her off. i am a jerk, i know it, but it was pretty funny, i thought. i don't know why i got so much enjoyment out of it, but i really had fun. probably because i was really drunk/stoned/whatever, which makes everything more fun. it makes me evil and all that, but i don't really care. one thing really stands out in my mind though. it was downstairs, while the 4 people were trying to dance. i believe it was after she pretended to start doing a strip tease to britney spears. she got the belt all the way off pretty impressive. anyways, she wanted to dance or something, so she tried to get air to dance. air was a little drunk at this point, and couldn't really figure out how to get his legs to work, so he flat out shot her down and wandered off mumbling about stuff, probably travs sister :D anyways, we all had a laugh, because DrunkeyAir had just shot down a hot chick, and ali had just gotten shot down by a drunk guy. I was standing in the doorway talking to some people, just kind of chilling, watching the whole thing go down. of course i thought it was funny. she was kind of annoyed i think, and so she walked up to me, and was like "i just got shot down by air!" i started laughing, because i thought it was funny, and was like yeah yeah, i know, whatever. so she shoved her knee between my legs and kind of leaned on me, you know how that all goes, and looked at me and was like "you would never shoot me down, would you ben?" and i was like "i don't know, i don't know, i think i might be able to." and she kind of blinked, and then walked off. i am pretty sure that pissed her off. it better have, lol :) anyways, there were a bunch of other little things, haha. she was really pissed that i kept ignoring her and talking to travs sister instead. looking back, that was pretty funny. air and i had a lot in common on friday. we were both reeeeeeally drunk, we both were ignorning ali, we both shot her down, and we both were hitting on travs sister :D in fact, i think i even saw trav hitting on his sister at one point. i think i picked the right people to be roomates with. so yeah, i hope i pissed her off a little. i hope i didn't go too over the top so she realized i was trying to piss her off so she can try to counter it. it all seems a little complicated, but i am having fun with it. it is nice to think that i am turning the tables around a little bit. anyways, mind games mind games mind games, fun fun fun :) she is the one who wanted to turn my feelings into a game, so i am just playing along. does that make me evil and a jerk? probably. do i really care at this point? not really. whats the worst that could happen? she gets really pissed at me and never talks to me again. i would probably be better off anyways, whatever. and whats the best that could happen? i get some free sex or something. either way, whatever, you know? :) you girls out there probably hate me now, but oh well. for those of you girls who are hot for me (i know there must be a whole NONE of you, but oh well), if we ever go out or whatever, just don't screw with my emotions on purpose and we will be cool :) this is what most guys would do, they just wouldn't post it up on a blog for every girl in the world to see. so yeah, i may be a bastard, but that is the way things work. sorry :P

i just realize ali probably reads this thing here, lol. so yeah, if she does, yeah i am a jerk, sorry. whatever, deal with it. its your turn again, by the way....

what fun life can be, no? i don't know, i just got a kick out of it :) who cares, sometimes you have to go against what is good for everyone else and do what is good for you. it may be selfish and whatnot, but everyone deserves to be selfish once in a while, right?

CD of the day (i know you all must be thrilled as all hell) is Madison Avenue - Polyester Embassy. yeah, that is the one with Don't Call Me Baby on it. i love that song. for some reason i have it running through my head right now, i don't know why ;) anyways, this is a pimmmmp cd. the other songs on it rock too. go download it, or ignore it, or do whatever the hell you do with the rest of the cds of the day. see you all later. i have to go pray to air again or something. it has been 3 days or so since he crucified himself at the party, so i figure he should be resurrecting himself soon. for all of you who missed that, that was some of the funniest shit i have seen in a long time. we put him to bed, and he wandered out later, and was like "i have risen!!!" and we all cheered and laughed. then he was like "happy easter!!!" and i started cracking up :D good stuff, air rules, but he doesn't appreciate our platitudes. i think i will make Air the official diety of the Ministry of WAnkness.....

frivved up by Ben at 6:17 PM

hahahahahhaha, what a funny nithg i had. waht sthories i have to telee you all!!!! thies is a propoer drunk blog!!! i have drunk sand i have blosgs!!!!!!!!! BOGLOGS!!!!!!!! BLGOGS@!!!! shit. shyee o h. oh, so yeah, tonighgt was funny adn i will tell everyones about itlater. stuff happeneed, and i got drunk. its not my fault! drunk happpnes!!!!! yahhhhhhhhhh....... drunkkkkkkkkk............. soeys....yesyessssssss......... i cean't fihnsih off thoes keges. i stll have another cup of beerr with mh ehere, that i am driuninking. the only proble is that iam the onlyone awake veven, everyobe keeps goign to sleeep. o don 't know whats going on. we nees dmore party actionage here at the hoseu of craazyness!!!!!!!11.....

i gues si have to explean some stories tomororw, but for now ilieve you with DRUNK BLOGFFOODNERY!!!!


BYYOUAH!!!!!!!!!!

frivved up by Ben at 5:01 AM

blogged........

party tonight, should be pretty DAMN SWEET ;) anyways, roomate X is no longer X, he is roomate Ryan, at least for the summer. ohhhhhhh baby, the insanity is to the max. i don't know if i will be able to survive it. good stuff though. LAN party this weekend, that should be pretty cool too. get some good drinkin in with the out of towners. not much to talk about here, i am tired.

CD of the day is jamiroquai - synkronized


frivved up by Ben at 3:54 PM

so yeah, i guess i should explain what i have been doing this week that has made it so awesome. one of our major projects is this huge restoration near rainier beach. it is a place called pritchard beach, we are making a meadow, a huge wetland area with a pond, an alder gallery, and a forest. so basically it is nuts. it is a huge thing, and very diverse, so every year we do this thing called monitoring. we take a selection of plots that will basically represent an area, and monitor it to see what plants are there, and whether the plants we planted are alive still, and whether the place is over run by bad plants, and such. then we can compare it to the last year, and the year before, and etc. to see if what we have been doing is working. it actually is really helpful. but yeah, it basically takes a week to do all the plots. it is also pretty slack, because we stand around in this 1 m circle naming off all the little plants we see (the herb layer). then we move out to 3 meters and do shrubs, then 5 meters and do trees. the herb layer takes the longest, because there are usually like 10-20 different little shits in there. so yeah, my plant id is pretty pimpin right now. today was awesome. it was me and 2 of the girls i work with. they rock. it was awesome, because they think they are too bossy, so i was in charge the entire time. so i got to boss them around, it was hilarious. me, in charge, again :D and we finished our things first, and they were impressed, because what i told them to do actually made sense. most of my co workers are really cool, i am thinking of inviting some of them to the party on friday. so yeah, i was counting plants all week, booyah. it rocked.

on a sad note, one of the guys i really liked is leaving tomorrow. he was a cool guy, and he knew a lot about plants. also, the first time i worked with him, he layed down for a nap after work, which basically started ryan and mines whole sleep all the time. but he is leaving for greener pastures. anyways, i took a 2 hour lunch on the clock. woot

we have a roomate x, for part of the summer at least. ryan is going to be pimpin up in heah. oh man, my life is over ;) living with the dudes i am with, and now ryan too. holy fucking shit, this is going to be the best summer ever!!!!!

CD of the day is Bt - Movement in Still life (UK version). get it, and stuff....

frivved up by Ben at 3:01 PM

countin plants, hot damn. after tonight, i will be done with school for the summer. hot diggity. final is at 7 pm, online, hopefully won't take long, just like the rest of them. anyways, good stuff. i don't really have much to talk about today. my life is good, but it would probably seem boring to all of you right now, so yeah, lol :P

cd of the day is Foo Fighters - color and shape. i like that cd, obviously

frivved up by Ben at 6:46 PM

bah, thats not what i see when i see those things. anyways, whatever. the just piss me off

frivved up by Ben at 9:09 PM

bleaaaaaaat

so yeah, you know what really pisses me off? those things people have on their car that are a Jesus fish with the word truth in it eating a darwin fish. the whole jesus darwin thing is about creationism vs. evolution. Evolution is a fucking fact. the Catholic church conceded that evolution was in fact real. so why the hell do you have jesus fishes eating the darwin fish, when the darwin fish is right? fooking eh. these things are the height of stupidity and ignorance, in my opinion. sorry to anyone who doesn't believe in darwinism and that stuff, but yeah. some people need to get a clue.

bah, i am busy. i have a final i haven't studied for and an assigment due tonight, that i need to finish in the next few hours or so. fuck it, i'm out. check you all later.

cd of the day is blink 182 - enima of the state. ownage

frivved up by Ben at 1:38 PM

Frisky feat. Daniella - Clearly Now

go download

frivved up by Ben at 3:24 PM

blizzogged to the what whaaat.

cable modems rule, nuff said.

well, i'm at work again. trip rules, yeah yeah. my job is a joke because it is me working at it. the fact that my job isn't really a joke, but i am still here makes it a joke, i guess. i love my job, it is the greatest. and they want me to stay on in the fall. security = good. 6 more months of work goodness. good deals for manuel. good to see things are working out. if i was in his position, i would take her back. i mean, he loves the damn girl, this was just a minor setback or something. congrats on the job too :) money is good.

speaking of work, my friend ryan gets back from western sometime this week. i am so stoked. after all this annoyingness with my high school friends, it will be really good to see him. he really is my best friend, and we haven't seen eachother in a few months actually. it will be good to relive some old times with him. i need to get back in touch with high school a little bit, after the whole house break in thing, and now the not moving in thing. who knows, maybe he will be roomate X over the summer :P it will be pimp to see him, i will definitely add a new aspect to buffoonery. he should be chilling with us a lot this summer, with me and him working together, and there being nothing to do on the east side. besides, there is raving. sweet sweet raving, i haven't been in a while. so yeah, you guys have all met him, i believe. at least po has. whatever. it will be good to chill with him.

back to this work topic. today was pretty funny. when everyone thinks of weeding, you probably think of me crawling around on my hands and knees with a trowel and a funny hat on. first, my trowel isn't really a trowel, it is a japanese too called a hori hori. it is like a trowel, but it looks like a knife with long blade that is concave on one side. these things have a serrated edge and a leather sheath. weedtastic. and today, i was taking out reed canary grass (phalaris arundinacea). isn't that a pimp name? say it out loud, phalaris arundinacea. awesome. anyways, it may have a cool name, but is the worst fucking plant in the world, it is insane. it has these long huge risominous pink roots. if you leave any of them, it will regrow the plant. not only that, but it can spread by seed, and it sends out trailers that root elsewhere. you think grass, you see a lawn. well imagine a grass with a half inch diameter stalk that is 8 feet tall and has 1 foot long leaves on it. yeah, and huge alien looking risomes in the ground. so yeah, i was out in the meadow attacking this shit. you have to dig at hole about a foot deep to make sure you get it all

this paints a funny picture. WAnk, with bright yellow raingear on, running around in a wetland with a shovel attacking huge monster mutant grasses. well, thats what i did this morning, it was actually pretty satisfying, even if i did get soaked. reed canary grass is soooo evil though, i had to pull a trip. here we go

(insert So I married an Axe Murderer jazz poetry beat)


















Reed Canary!!!!!
Re-e-e-e-e-ed Canary
Grass so big and green
The biggest i've seen
Its destroying my native plant-ing

Hey trip, get me off this crazy thing.... called work.

(WAnk blows out a burning stalk of grass and walks off to more jazz poetry beat)








woopty woop, good stufff

anyways, cd of the day is Anabolic Frolic - Happy 2b Hardcore Chapter 4. it is a happy hardcore CD. happy hardcore is crack in music form. it is completely sped up, and happy, with lots of cheesy female vocals, all sped up. it is cool, a lot of happy hardcore djs take stuff like christina aguilera and put a huge beat behind it, and speed it up by about 5 times. it is good stuff, but it will rot your brain. it is fun to dance too, but after about 3 minutes you are exhausted because it is sooooo fast. good stuff though, check it out, or at least download the 13th track from it. it is trixy feat. someone, and i forget the track name. i will post it when i get home, but it is a great song. so yeah, go get it and stuff.

I have wasted enough time, i am leaving in a few minutes. i love my job

frivved up by Ben at 2:43 PM

bloggity freaking blog!

ohhhhhhhhh yeah OHHHHHHH YEAH!!!!

yeah, we are online, i am happy, you are happy, everyone is happy. blogs, stuff, crazyness, oh yeah.

speaking of all that, Moulin Rouge was a really really awesome movie. i completely enjoyed myself, and i was absolutely enthralled by the end. amazing. good stuff.

i am kind of hung over, so i will leave this short. cd of the day is lateralus by tool, awesome shiznit. i finally got that album from dan or air. it is really sweet

frivved up by Ben at 11:05 AM

Trav: I drive past your work almost everyday. it is on the way to my office, it is really easy to find. just go up 75th, and it will basically take you past fred meyers :P it kind of swings around, and then dumps out onto 85th, and eventually drops you off at fred meyers. you will have like a 5 minute commute, lol. good deals.

Trip: I was cracking up when i saw your blog :D it is good that someone else sees my job as the joke it is. does what i do actually provide a reasonable service to society? no. do i still get paid for it? yes :) does it cost you any money? thank god no, we are privately funded, woo hoo. I guess that is why i love my job so much. it is like, how the hell did i get here, and what am i doing. and the fact that i don't actually do anything when i am at work.... the whole situation has a hilarity that suits my life well. i mean, i am getting paid right now.........

so yeah, not much going on. i wish i had an internet connection. that would make the house perfect. apparently we are getting cable hooked up today. bitchin. house life is good. i love our new house. it would be nice for roomate x to present his or herself. i am worried i am going to have to eat a lot of rent/deposit money here. damn people moving out anyways ;) its all good, the house is still pimpin.

another cool thing about my house. i have remembered dreams from all but one night. last night was the first time i had slept and not remembered a dream that i had. i usually go weeks without actually fully remembering a dream. you know those dreams, where you wake up, and it seemed so real, and you want to go back to bed and finish it up? well i have been having those dreams every night. usually i have them maybe once or twice a month. hell, i even had a dream continue on a dream from the night before. it was freaking cool. basically, in this dream, this little alien thing came to earth, and found me, and wanted to know what shit was like. so the first night was me teaching him how to be normal, and what life on earth was actually like. we figured out that the physics and rules of earth didn't apply to him, so i had to teach him how to look like a human and stuff, and we realized he could basically do anything. it was kind of funny. then the next night was us capitalizing on the fact that he could do anything. this dream was funny. like everyone i know had an appearance in it. we were all on this like retreat/resort thing. it was kind of like whistler villiage on vacation, but everyone was there and it wasn't snowy. crazy. we didn't abuse his magical whatever powers, but we did some fun stuff. this dream was so real though. its like, i could feel people touching me, my feet hit the ground, i kissed someone and it was all realistic, you know, crazy. it was the wierdest thing. i never have dreams that are that real. which is unfortunate, because dreams like that are one of my favorite things in the world.

i think this is because dreams are an altered reality, like close to reality but a little skewed. and i see my life as close to reality, or normality, just slightly skewed. i don't see my self, or my thought process as normal, i have always seemed a little off, even to myself. it is pretty cool, it is a fun way to live, because i see things in things that other people don't. i laugh at things that aren't funny to anyone else at the moment, and i have to explain myself a lot. i wander around in a bemused state, it is fun. i think this is why alcohol and such are so attractive to me, because it gives you that whole altered reality feeling, almost like a dream. drugs are cool like that, it all seems like a dream, which is awesome to me.

beedopoodap. work work work. time to kill more time surfing the internet. i need to pay off my credit card bills today. hahaha, work is turning into my internet fix. i find a lot of humor in this. we aren't supposed to use the internet for personal uses, but here i am....

see everyone this weekend. i am realllly looking forward to trips thing on friday. it will be sweet to see trip performing again, and there is a DJ spinning apparently that i have been wanting to see for a little bit. and here he is, at trips party. badassticles, to the max even.

frivved up by Ben at 2:49 PM

how could i forget stinky bob. there is a plant called stinky bob that has just started coming up. it is really annoying, because it smells bad. the latin name is Geranium Robertianum if anyone cares.... these latin words may be a letter off here or there, i am pulling them off the top of my head. if you want, i could go look them up, but that would just be stupid :)

frivved up by Ben at 2:15 PM

Work work work.

I don't believe ashley and lea when they say they don't read blogs unless they are mentioned in them. but anywas, i just mentioned them. i need to keep the few readers i have... ;)

Blake and Jay are out. fuck them. fuck my high school friends. BAH. now we need another roomate..... thank god Dan wasn't mad at us or anything, and was ready to hop on so we didn't have to eat a months rent for two people. we need to find someone soon. it will all work out, i am sure. i am actually not to worried. not having jay will ease a lot of tension in the house, i believe. so yeah, that kind of sucked, jay being a dick. trav handled the situation very well. he may feel like a dick, but jay looked like the fucking Cock of the Century. god damn. i watched the whole exchange, and jay was just being an asshole about it. it was fucking wierd. i tried to stay out of it and help trav out at the same time. in my mind, trav was more or less completely in the right, and jay was just making excuses and trying to get his way

so yeah, this weekend was pretty fun. i had fun at stevens court, sitting paranoid in my chair in the corner. good times. i kept thinking laura was looking at me, because she was sitting in the other chair kind of diagonally behind me. I kept looking back at her. so yeah, sorry about that. it was rather fun watching dan and air working their "magic." props to air, i guess? way to be persistant at least :D you should call her. Dan is still out, lol. sorry to say it dude. I don't know if you even remember any of it, but you are out. You were acting like a slimey frat boy, or bp. still, pretty damn funny, quite amusing to me. i am sure ashley and lea will look back when they able to get rid of the shock and laugh. hehe, anyways :)

I like schmirnoff ice. it makes me a bitch, but it is good stuff. i don't care what people say, i like that stuff.

i wish i could drink at work..... i have plans over the summer, when i have full days out in the field away from the office and my bosses to just kick around with a 40. should make things fun. speaking of work, i have been thinking about that day a few weeks ago with matt, where he was in shock that i knew plant names. i realized that most of you probably have no idea what i actually do for a living. i know a little about what a few of you do (dan works on the network at the path department, trav is a checker at fred meyers, air is with his uncle building a house for this guy, matt and po work at key bank and wamu respectively, ashley works at the GAP, manny works for a restaurant?, yeah...) and i figured i should return the favor.

pooped, not such a good idea after all

cd of the day (if you get this far) is Bush - Sixteen Stone. listened to this again for the first time in a while, it rocks. booyah grandma, all that jazz. check you all later. i will keep killing time in the office here.

wow, long blog. i will give anyone who got this far and actually read the whole thing a nice shiny new quarter, or free sex, whichever is worth more to you. yeee haw.....

frivved up by Ben at 2:10 PM

alright, so I lied. I am at work now, trying to figure out how i am going to pass enough time so i can leave early and move in. Two hours left to kill.....

ashley, i didn't hate your dog :P your dog is cool, it cracks me up. i was fascinated by her. oh well, another post that somehow turned insulting, another reader lost, woo hoo :D at least trav will still read my blog.... i think we have formulated some sort of strange fetish with this whole blogging thing. its all good

anyways, CD of the day time, i suppose. I haven't done Tantric, yet, so todays album of the day is Tantric - Tantric. they are coming to play with 3 doors down and lifehouse, i may have to go see them. anyways, sweet cd. speaking of sweet cds, the Staind and Tool CDs are number one and two in the nation now, i believe. badass. i haven't heard the new staind, but i like what i hear so far. look forward to downloading it. Could this be the end of the teen pop sensation? no, but it has loosened its stranglehold at least.

well, check you guys later. stop by the house sometime this weekend. it will probably only be me and air, but hey, air and I rule :D workin hard for my money, workin hard for my money..... mwahahah

frivved up by Ben at 9:55 AM